Full Circle
by Avalon3
Summary: Janeway and Chakotay thought they had put the events of Eidolon behind them. They were wrong. Sequel to "Survival Instinct".
1. Chapter One

Full Circle 1 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 1/9 

  
NOTE: I wrote this story a couple of years back, but thought I should pull it out and dust it off. Hope you enjoy! 

This is the third and final part of the "Wraiths Trilogy", which began with "Eidolon" and "Survival Instinct". Briefly, in part one, Chakotay was possessed by an alien and kidnapped the Captain. In part two, Janeway and Chakotay were caught in a holodeck malfunction and their relationship began to heat up. 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: Thanks to Linda Campbell (as always!) for the great ideas, the wonderful title, and many of the nastier things that happen to Janeway and Chakotay. (The mudslide was her idea! Okay - I owe something to   
"Romancing the Stone" too...) 

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't own 'em. Never did. 'Nuff said. 

FULL CIRCLE I 

_It's not what you think._. Kathryn slowly turned to the man who had spoken, red sand crunching beneath her feet.   
He stared pensively back at her, his dark eyes hooded beneath the sweep of the tattoo over his eye. She swallowed, feeling reality caving in around her.   
  
_What do you mean?_ It was her voice, but she couldn't remember speaking. He shook his head silently and turned   
to leave. Kathryn took a step forward but in the space of a heartbeat he had vanished into the night. Cold fog   
swirled around her.   
  
_It's not what you think..._   


* * *

  
With a cry, Kathryn Janeway bolted upright in her bed. "Computer... lights." Instantly, a warm, familiar glow filled the cabin and she lay back, trying to slow her racing heart, staring blankly up at the ceiling. A glance at the chronometer told her it was still the middle of the night. She reached an unsteady hand up to her forehead and wiped away the cold sweat on her brow.   
  
The dream was fading already. This was the second night in a row she had awakened, her heart racing in terror and an ominous sense of foreboding filling her. The second night since...   
  
_It's not what you think..._   
  
With a startled gasp she sat up again and flung herself from the bed, dragging the covers with her. That hadn't been a nightmare or a memory of fear...she had _heard_ that...   
  
"Computer -- scan for intruders!"   
  
"There are no intruders present." The cool, emotionless tones did nothing to allay the Captain's tension. 

"Scan the ship for anomalous readings."   
  
"There are no anomalies present."   
  
She was already moving to the communicator pin on the stand by the bed. She hit it harder than she intended. "Janeway to the Bridge."   
  
"Yes, Captain?" There was a note of surprise in the woman's voice. It belonged to -- she had to think for a moment --   
Ensign...Rawlins.   
  
"Is everything all right?"   
  
"Yes, Captain." There was a careful pause. "Is there a problem?"   
  
Janeway opened her mouth to respond, then hesitated. Now that her heart rate had settled a little, reason was slowly returning. Alarming her bridge crew in the middle of the night, especially if she _were_ only hearing things...well, that was something she'd rather not do, if only to spare herself the embarrassment. She had had enough of that to last a lifetime as it was... She forced her voice to emulate its normal calm. "No. Everything's fine. Janeway out."   
  
She could just imagine the talk in the mess hall tomorrow -- calling the bridge crew in the dead of night for no apparent reason was unprecedented enough to warrant a spate of gossip. As if she hadn't given them enough to gossip about already... She sighed, the dark sense of dread within her fading rapidly, along with the memory of the dream. She must have imagined it...   
  
She was bending to pick up the bedcover when a faint ripple of foreboding caressed her back. She straightened quickly and glanced over her shoulder...and a blinding flash of light washed over her. 

Janeway gasped. The world had changed. Instead of the warm familiarity of her cabin she could see a distant city, glimmering in the sunlight. Strange birds wheeled in the electric blue sky while, underfoot, alien plants whispered in the breeze. She could feel the warm air, smell the tiny flowers dusting the field she found herself in. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to will away the vision, then reopened them...to find herself alone in her cabin. 

She stood frozen in place for a moment, one hand still holding the blanket. And then she heard it again: 

_It's not what you think._

With a sharply inhaled breath, the Captain dropped the blanket, hastily seized her robe from the back of her chair, and bolted from the room. 

* * * 

Janeway met no one between her cabin and sickbay. At this hour the corridors of Voyager were mostly deserted. Which was just as well, she thought to herself -- the sight of the Captain dashing through the ship in nothing but a pale peach nightgown and matching robe would have wreaked further havoc on her already damaged dignity. But by this point, Janeway didn't care. These dreams were becoming... something more than dreams. 

Without pause she hurtled into the darkened sickbay. The lights obligingly brightened as she entered. "Activate emergency medical hologram." She was slightly out of breath. 

The Doctor materialized instantly. "Please state the nature..." He stopped himself with an effort. "Captain?" There was a note of surprise in his voice. "Are you all right?" 

"Yes. No. I'm not sure." He frowned, and she made an effort to martial her thoughts. As succinctly as possible she told him what had happened. His frown deepened and he picked up a medical tricorder. Janeway held still as he scanned her, gnawing on her lower lip. 

"Well?" She said at last. 

He closed the tricorder with a snap. "You're perfectly healthy. You were probably just dreaming." 

She shot him a look. "It was more than a dream, Doctor. I definitely heard...and saw...something. In my cabin." 

The hologram glanced down at the tricorder. "Well, the level of isotronic neutrinos in your brain are slightly elevated. But that could be from any manner of causes. And that shouldn't account for you hearing things..." 

Her irritation was growing. "I am not _hearing_ things. Well...I am...but they're real. I definitely heard a voice." 

"And what did this voice say?" 

She swallowed her ire. He was humouring her. She hated being humoured by holograms...or by anyone for that matter. "'It's not what you think'". 

"What isn't?" 

"No. That's what the voice said." 

"Oh. Is that all?" 

Janeway nodded, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. The Doctor pursed his lips. "Well, aside from the slight change in your neutrino levels, there's nothing wrong with you. I suggest you relax and try to get some sleep. Count chickens." 

She sighed. "Sheep." 

"I beg your pardon?" 

"You count sheep to fall asleep. Chickens are what you don't count before they hatch." 

He looked baffled. Suddenly Janeway felt the urge to laugh. This was becoming too ridiculous. She was standing in sickbay in the middle of the night discussing colloquialisms with a hologram. Life couldn't get much more bizarre... "All right, Doctor. Maybe you're right." She turned to go. 

"Captain." 

She paused. "Yes?" 

"If it happens again, come back and I'll run further tests." 

She hesitated then nodded briefly and left the room. 

* * * 

Janeway stifled a yawn as she entered the bridge. Like the previous night, she hadn't been able to sleep after the dream had awakened her. She had tried everything...even counting chickens...but nothing had worked. She had lain tensely awake for hours, waiting for the voice to return. The silence had continued unabated but hadn't dispelled the apprehension she felt. She took a quick, furtive glance around the bridge as she entered. It didn't help that most of the crew obviously thought her weariness during the past few days was caused by...reasons other than insomnia. 

She tensed subconsciously as she crossed to her chair and sat down beside her First Officer, who was engrossed in a report that didn't look all that interesting from where she sat. He didn't meet her eyes. Which was fine with her. In the last 48 hours, she had turned avoidance into a fine art. 

Ever since the incident on the holodeck two days ago...all right, _incident_ was an understatement -- ever since Paris, Kim, and Torres had entered to find their Captain and First Officer locked in a torrid embrace on the floor -- she had been avoiding Chakotay...and most of the crew...and her own feelings... She swallowed. This couldn't go on. The trouble was, she didn't have the faintest idea what to do about it. Unbidden, her mind wandered back. 

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. When Chakotay had invited her to join him in a refresher course on survival tactics, she had agreed readily. Given the frequency in which she had lately found herself in life-threatening situations, it had made sense. Of course, she had had no idea that the holodeck was going to malfunction ("I am never setting foot in one of those again", she told herself firmly) or that the simple survival course would be transformed into a genuine test of their abilities, complete with dangerous wildlife, tropical rainstorms, booby traps, and dancing Klingons. Well, the last hadn't been dangerous, merely...surreal. The rest though had been real enough and could have killed them both several times over. 

That wasn't the worst part, though. If it had been, Janeway wouldn't have spent the last two days avoiding her First Officer like the Denebian Plague. No, the worst of it was that she had found out just how far her First Officer could be pushed. She had finally seen Chakotay lose his self-control and the results had been...explosive. 

He had accused her of taking unnecessary risks and throwing herself in the path of danger...and then he had kissed her. Thoroughly. And she had kissed him back. Even more thoroughly. And that was when her three officers had walked in on them. Even now, a blush rose on her cheeks at the thought and she resisted the urge to shrink lower in her chair. 

Janeway felt eyes on her and glanced up...and swallowed. Every person on the bridge with the single exception of Tuvok and her First Officer was watching her out of the corner of his or her eyes. Chakotay's gaze remained firmly glued to the report, yet she was certain he too was aware of her every move. She swallowed then straightened her shoulders with determination and allowed her gaze to wander over the bridge. Suddenly everyone was completely immersed in various tasks, working furiously at...nothing. 

Coming to a decision, Janeway stood abruptly...and the bridge stilled, frozen in place. Eight pairs of eyes fastened on her. Janeway opened her mouth to speak, thought better of it, and said instead: "I'll be in my ready room. Commander, you have the Bridge." Without waiting for a reply she turned and fled. 

* * * 

Once out of sight, Janeway sagged into a chair, leaning head on hands and closing her eyes. It didn't help. If anything, the memory of what had happened became even more vivid. The image of Chakotay, dripping wet, water cascading across his bare chest, pulling her to him, was burned into her mind. She gave herself an inward shake, trying to banish the memory. It didn't work. 

It would have helped if they could have talked about it, she thought as she leaned back in her chair, tiredly massaging her neck with one hand. But she had spent the following hours in sickbay while the Doctor had mended her various cuts and bruises while Chakotay had returned to the Bridge. And then there had been the problem in Engineering...and the moment to talk, if ever there had been one, had passed. When next she saw him she had carefully steered the conversation toward _safe_ topics, and he had taken his cue from her, as always. So now the subject hung over them, worse than any sword of Damocles. And there was still the crew's reactions to contend with... 

The doorchime interrupted her musings and she jumped in the chair, nearly going over backwards. She straightened it carefully -- falling out of her own chair would be the final straw -- and responded: 

"Come in." 

The door slid open...and her heart kicked into warp drive. Chakotay. He hesitated at the threshold, with the air of one who wished himself far away, then reluctantly entered. The door closed behind him. The sound had an air of finality to it. Janeway said nothing as he crossed the short space to her desk and stopped before her, standing almost at attention. The silence stretched between them. 

Janeway swallowed. "Say something," she told herself rather desperately. "Anything." 

She was saved from the effort when he spoke first. "We have to talk...Kathryn." 

She found herself nodding, still unable to put two words together. Starfleet training just didn't cover situations like this. What does a Captain say to her First Officer, after they have come perilously close to ravishing each other on the floor of the holodeck? It certainly added a different meaning to "chain of command"... That thought set her mind off in an whole new direction... 

With an effort she pulled herself together and managed to say civilly enough: "Sit down...please." 

He did, folding himself into the chair, an uncomfortable expression on his face. "That makes two of us," Janeway thought. For an eternal moment they remained silent, each obviously waiting for the other to start. When they did, both spoke at once. 

"About the..." 

"Kathryn, I..." 

As one, they stopped. Another awkward silence fell. Finally Janeway gave herself another inward shake. "You're the Captain," she thought decisively. "Act like one." 

"Commander..." Might as well start this on a more formal footing, if there was such a thing. "You're right. We do need to talk...about what happened on the holodeck." 

As if that had opened his conversational floodgates, Chakotay leaned forward and spoke quickly, not waiting for her to finish. "Captain." She noted his use of her title, "I owe you an apology. I had no right..." 

"Chakotay..." 

He ignored her interruption, continuing determinedly. "I should not have lost my temper. I apologize for the things I said." 

Suddenly finding the room incredibly claustrophobic, she rose to pace along one wall, avoiding his eyes. More forcefully, she said: 

"Chakotay..." 

Again he ignored her. "But...I don't apologize for the kiss." 

That stopped her in mid-stride, so much so that she nearly tripped over empty air. She came to a halt, wavered slightly, then turned to face him, astonishment written on her face. She blinked. "You...don't?" It came out as a question and she cursed herself. She was not handling this well. Not well at all. But she couldn't ignore the little flicker of joy that sprang up inside her at his words. "Damn it, Kathryn," she told herself, "say something intelligent." 

He was obviously waiting for her response, his face unreadable. She licked her lips slightly and took a deep breath "Chakotay...I..." she started to say... And then it happened again. There was a blinding flash of light and suddenly she was...elsewhere. 

* * * 

She was in the city this time, the same city she had seen from the hillside. Within its confines she could see why it had shimmered -- almost all of the walls were made of some reflective stone that caught the sunlight, throwing glittering reflections back. The city itself seemed to pulse, not just with light, but with life. People hastened by the frozen Janeway, who stood unmoving in the middle of a narrow road. They parted like a stream around her, jostling her only slightly. There were no sounds. No voices broke the eerie silence, although she could see mouths moving and conversations taking place. No footsteps could be heard. Overhead, grey birds wheeled silently in the cloudless sky. 

Janeway braced herself as a large man carrying two baskets of...something...shuffled by her. His eyes swept over and through her, glancing at her idly, as if she were of no more significance than a large stone or other immovable object...here, and yet not here. It was an eerie feeling, like looking in the mirror and seeing no one there. Or worse, seeing someone else looking back... 

"Hello?" Janeway spoke tentatively. Her voice sounded strange to her ears. Flat, as if there were no air currents to carry it. She tried again, louder. "Can anyone hear me?" They obviously couldn't. The throng hurried by, their pace unabated. For a moment she was tempted to thrust out her foot and trip one, but hastily throttled the impulse. Instead, she turned in a circle, examining the surroundings intently. 

Closer examination revealed that the reflective stone was not a naturally occurring substance, but a man-made (alien-made?) one. There were faint marks along the base and edges of the walls, indicating high intensity heat or light, like a laser or other tool, and there were other signs that a high level of technology had gone into their making. Strands of pulsing, beaded lights ran through and under the pavement at her feet, glowing faintly like distant stars. "I've seen those somewhere before," she thought, trying to place the memory but it skittered away into the dark corners of her mind, refusing to be caught. 

She was struggling harder, trying to capture the elusive threads of remembrance when she felt a hand on her arm. Suddenly the world was full of sound...people talking, calling to each other; a faint breeze rustling through her hair; a muttered apology as someone bumped into her...and close beside her, a female voice, asking breathlessly: 

"Eidolon, where have you been?" 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	2. Chapter Two

Full Circle 2 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 2/9 

**FULL CIRCLE II**

Janeway pulled free with a startled gasp...and found herself once more aboard Voyager, staring into Chakotay's dark, worried eyes, his hands on her arms. She blinked and, for a moment, disorientation swept over her. 

"Are you all right?" There was concern...and something else...in his voice, and his grip tightened. 

The chaos in her mind receded momentarily and she stiffened. "Eidolon." She hadn't realized she had spoken the name aloud until she saw his expression change. 

"What?" Chakotay's voice sharpened. 

Confusion swept over her. Janeway met her First Officer's eyes, her mind reeling. She swayed slightly. "Chakotay?" It came out as a question. "What happened?" 

"You tell me." Hastily he steered he toward her chair and she sagged bonelessly into it. "You went into some sort of trance," he said, a hundred questions in his voice. 

She swallowed and ran a hand over her eyes which were burning and sore. Chakotay knelt down and tentatively touched her shoulder. "Kathryn...what's going on?" 

"She called me Eidolon," Janeway said distantly, staring past his shoulder to the far wall. She couldn't seem to shake off the confusion assailing her -- it was as if part of her were still in the crowded city. 

"Who did?" Her First Officer asked gently. 

Janeway made a concerted effort to clear her mind. Speaking slowly, she replied: "I was...somewhere else...in a crowded city. And someone called me...Eidolon." Staring blindly past Chakotay she told him about the vision and the dreams of the past two nights. 

She finished and swallowed again, a small ripple of fear snaking through her. Beside her, she could feel the tension beating out of her First Officer's body like radiation. She met his eyes, her face reflecting the unspoken thoughts written on his own. Without thinking she reached out a hand and spoke more forcefully: "Chakotay --I'm still me. Eidolon's gone. It was just a...a..." She couldn't finish. She didn't know what it was. 

Neither did he. The Commander gazed worriedly into her eyes, searching for signs of...of something he'd rather not think about. 

Chakotay had thought he had managed to put the memories behind him. Now, he realized, as he watched the Captain shakily trying to regain control of herself, that he had been wrong. He could no more ignore the events of several weeks ago than he could ignore what was happening now. And perhaps...just perhaps...the events were linked. He shuddered inwardly. 

Three weeks ago, when a hostile alien had seized control of his body and kidnapped the Captain while searching for his elusive people, the Shay'anari, Chakotay had been a helpless prisoner within his own mind. Janeway had freed him -- well, they had freed each other -- but the memories remained. She had nearly died. He had nearly killed her. In the end, the alien had left his body and taken hers in a last desperate bid for freedom. Only then, with the help of ancient, alien technology, had the Captain been freed and Eidolon destroyed for good. Or so they had thought... 

Janeway could read the doubt in his eyes. It hurt, but she couldn't blame him. The same thought was ripping through her like a dagger. _What if Eidolon hadn't died?_ What if he were still inside her? Worse yet, what if he were somehow controlling her? She bit her lip then straightened and leaned back, easing herself out of his grasp. He let her go but did not step back. Instead, he stared intensely into her eyes, searching for some sign of...what? 

"You think that I might have been taken over...that he's not really gone." It wasn't a question. 

A shadow passed over his eyes but he didn't deny it. The silence stretched between them. 

After an eternity, Janeway licked dry lips and spoke again. "It's probably just some sort of hallucination..." 

"And the dreams?" 

"I don't know." 

"I think you should see the Doctor." His tone was clipped. She hesitated then nodded wordlessly and stood, swaying a little. He took her arm, just under the elbow, to steady her and for an instant she was tempted to lean into his side, to reassure herself with some much needed human contact...but she was the Captain. And so she took a deep breath, locked her knees, and lightly pulled her arm away. 

"I'm fine," she said. "Let's go." 

Chakotay nodded, his expression unreadable, and together they left the ready room. 

* * * 

Their journey through the ship evoked more than one inquiring look. The rumours about them had obviously been spreading like wildfire. At any other time, Janeway would have done her best to quell them by striding along firmly, professionally, and decorously distant from the man at her side. Now though, she couldn't seem to care. She had more at stake than her reputation. 

Such as, what if Eidolon really was somewhere still inside her? Could she trust any of her actions of the last three weeks? Were her thoughts even her own? And...what would they do if the alien hadn't left her body? 

Then again, they could both be overreacting. She might just be hallucinating, perhaps caused by overwork and stress. But it had felt too real. She could still smell the flowers on the hillside, see the pulsing strands of lights in the pavement... 

Janeway stopped dead. Chakotay, who had been practically glued to her hip as they walked through the corridors, was taken off guard and ploughed into her, knocking her off balance. She steadied herself against the wall then turned hastily to him, interrupting the apology already forming on his lips. 

"I remember where I've seen those lights." 

He blinked. "What?" 

"Lights." She was speaking quickly, impatiently. "In the...vision...there were pulsing lights in some of the walls and buried in the street. I've just remembered where I've seen them before..." Her voice trailed off. 

He finished for her. "In the Guardian's cave." Their eyes met, the implications sinking in. 

"The vision...I was on the planet...where Eidolon took us." She swallowed. "But it was in the past. There were people. It was crowded." Her momentary jubilation was quickly fading and a stricken expression appeared on her face. Chakotay gently touched her shoulder, ignoring the curious crewmembers passing them. 

"It might just be a leftover memory...or something," he said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than her. 

"But you don't believe that, do you?" Her voice was bleak. 

He didn't answer. His silence was answer enough. Quietly they turned and resumed their progress towards sickbay. 

* * * 

The tests the Doctor subjected her to this time were rigorous and thorough. Janeway had been poked, prodded, and probed, and there was very little about her that hadn't been measured, gauged, or contemplated in some way. She had the feeling that if the hologram could have removed her brain for a quick going over on a dissection tray, he would have. As it was, she was getting a headache. A large one. She tilted her head, watching Chakotay, the Doctor, and Kes engage in a spirited discussion about one of the tests which, as far as she could tell, were all yielding precisely nothing, then she allowed herself to fall back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Maybe it was all just a... 

The lights flared around her and between one heartbeat and the next, Janeway was...elsewhere. 

"I said 'where have you been?' I've been waiting forever." 

Janeway blinked. She was back in the city. More people, carrying baskets filled with what looked like shards of glass or crystal, hurried by, ignoring her. She turned her head. The woman was still there, the one she had seen earlier. The one who had called her "Eidolon." 

She was thin and not very tall and, except for a faint greenish cast to her skin and a certain difference in the ears, looked remarkably human. Her hair was cut short and was an unremarkable light brown while her clothing appeared to be purely functional. She wore what looked like a pale grey coverall and light boots. Only the multicoloured crystalline rings flashing on her fingers and her vibrant blue eyes broke the drabness of her appearance. She seemed to be young. In human terms she wouldn't have been much more than twenty...   
  
Janeway found herself scientifically cataloguing every aspect of both her companion and her surroundings while another part of her mind tried desperately to solve the puzzle she found herself trapped in. "I was in sickbay. And now I'm here. It's another vision...or hallucination." But it was too real to be either. All of her senses seemed to be operating fully this time. She could hear the flocks of grey birds screaming raucously overhead, while the scents of the crowd mingled with the smell of distant cooking. She could even feel a stone in her left shoe, digging into her heel. 

She shifted her weight and refocused her attention on the woman, who was frowning now, a worried expression on her face. "Eidolon, are you all right?" 

Part of Janeway's overloaded mind screamed a silent answer. _Don't call me that. I am not Eidolon._ But she found herself nodding and answering calmly. "I'm fine..." She paused. Something within her supplied the name. "Yvara." Janeway stiffened. That wasn't her memory. It was...someone else's. Dread began to ripple through her. 

Yvara nodded, the worry fading from her eyes. "Good. I thought maybe they had..." Her voice trailed off. 

"What?" 

"Nothing." The alien hesitated. "I...did they listen to you?" 

Janeway waited, but whatever lurked within her mind didn't supply her with the answer this time. Hesitantly she replied. "No." Well, she had a fifty percent chance of being right, after all... 

Yvara turned aside, hitting one fist into the palm of her other hand. "I knew it. I knew they wouldn't listen." She turned back to Janeway, speaking fiercely. "You've got to try again. You've got to. Make them listen. Don't let them do this..." 

"I..." 

Light suddenly blinded her...and Janeway found herself back in sickbay. Chakotay and the others were still engrossed in conversation. No more than seconds could have passed. With a gasp, she bolted upright and said: "Doctor." It came out as a yelp. As one they turned to her, their discussion breaking off in midstream. She took a deep breath. "It happened again," she said flatly. Her headache had gotten worse, she noticed distantly, and she was trembling. She ignored it and met three pairs of startled eyes. 

For an instant she almost felt like laughing -- they all wore identical expressions of surprise and alarm -- but the impulse quickly faded. There was very little to laugh at, after all. 

In one stride, Chakotay had reached her side. "What happened?" His voice was sharp. 

Shakily, she told them. Every detail that she could remember while the Doctor hastily resumed scanning her. When she finished, the hologram spoke. 

"Your isotronic neutrinos have increased. Again." He changed instruments and frowned at the readings. "But that still shouldn't account for..." 

"Doctor." Janeway's voice cut him off. "Did any of the tests that you ran...that is...?" She gathered her thoughts. "Is there a test that will prove...that I'm still me?" The room stilled. 

The hologram looked down at his tricorder. "Your brainwave patterns indicate that you are indeed Kathryn Janeway..." His voice trailed off. 

She tensed. "So why do I sense a 'but' coming?" 

He met her gaze. "But...there are slight differences in the patterns that _could_ leave the matter in _some_ doubt." 

"What kind of 'slight differences'?" Chakotay's voice held a note that Janeway couldn't quite identify. She turned her head to look at him, but his expression was shuttered and hooded. He didn't meet her eyes. 

The Doctor paused before answering. "They might be caused by the change in her neutrino levels, or..." 

"Or by an alien entity somewhere inside me." Janeway's voice was bleak. 

"That is rather unlikely. If you had been taken over by Eidolon, or anyone else for that matter, your brainwave patterns should have changed considerably. That hasn't happened. And..." He held up a hand to forestall her interruption, "until there is more tangible proof either way, I suggest everyone stop leaping to conclusions." He closed the tricorder with a snap. Silence fell around him. The Doctor paused for a moment then smiled slightly, pleased with the effect. 

Janeway sat up, her legs dangling over the side of the bed. "So now what?" she asked wearily, her headache pounding painfully. 

"Now you all go back to whatever it is you were doing, and leave me to go over these tests. With Kes' help, of course." He favoured the alien with a paternal smile. 

Chakotay hesitated. Janeway looked up, trying to meet his eyes, and he glanced away. A cold chill ran through her. "Doctor, Kes," she said slowly, "I would like a word alone with Commander Chakotay first, please. Alone." 

The Doctor's eyebrows shot up, but he said, somewhat huffily. "All right. But don't be long. I have a lot of data to check." And then he vanished. 

Kes placed a hand on Janeway's shoulder. "Take your time, Captain. I'll be outside." She too left, leaving Janeway alone with her First Officer. 

Chakotay moved uncomfortably away as Janeway climbed to her feet. She braced herself. "All right, Commander. Just tell me." Her voice was firm. 

His turned to face her, discomfort written in every line of his body. A muscle tightened in his jaw. "I'm... worried about you. And the ship." 

"Because you're not sure if I...I'm still me." It wasn't a question. 

"Yes," he said evenly. 

She hadn't expected it to hurt so much. She understood the logic of his concerns...she had the same fears. But it still hurt. 

"And...?" Her words were flat and toneless. 

Chakotay found himself gazing at a point somewhere over her left shoulder. "And...I'm questioning now what happened in the holodeck. If...that was you or..." 

Janeway flinched and half-turned away. Well, she had wanted to talk to him about what had happened...but she had never envisioned the conversation that was taking place. What was she supposed to say? 

When she did speak, her voice was low. "Chakotay... I...can't prove that I haven't been take over by Eidolon. And I can't tell you that I'm one hundred percent certain that he...or anyone else...wasn't influencing my actions in the holodeck. There's no proof that I can give you." She swallowed again, her mouth going dry. This was... difficult. 

"I...don't have any explanation for what's been happening to me," she continued, "but I need you to believe in me. To trust me." She took a step closer, watching him closely now. "Can you do that?" 

There was a long moment of silence. Chakotay stared wordlessly down at her. She didn't move and she met his gaze unblinkingly, afraid to look away. She needed him to believe her, she realized. She could face everything else, deal with these visions, Eidolon, anything...if only he believed in her. She held her breath. 

"You're asking me for blind faith." His voice was strained. 

"Yes." 

The silence between them seemed to last forever this time. Finally he opened his mouth to respond...and without warning, the ship lurched violently, catapulting Janeway into his arms. 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	3. Chapter Three

Full Circle 3 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 3/9 

**FULL CIRCLE III**

  


Janeway found herself hopelessly entangled with her First Officer as the ship shuddered around them. They staggered backwards, heading toward a nearby bed, with Chakotay struggling to protect her and take the brunt of the fall himself. 

She landed on top of him, half on the bed, half off. In any other circumstances it might have been amusing. In the last few weeks, she seemed to have spent more time in his arms than out, for one reason or another. But it wasn't funny. Too much had been said...and left unsaid...for levity. And besides, there were other concerns. Even as Janeway was struggling to regain her footing and lift herself off of her First Officer, Voyager rolled again like a sailing ship in heavy seas. It tipped sideways, shuddered twice, then dipped alarmingly. Janeway lurched forward, her forehead connecting wickedly with Chakotay's jaw, and they both winced. Her vision blurred for a moment then she redoubled her efforts to pull away. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Janeway managed to stagger to her feet. The ship plunged again and Chakotay's hand went automatically to her elbow to steady her. For an instant they clung to each other...but only an instant. And then the Captain was moving away, her hand going to her communicator pin. 

"Janeway to the Bridge. What's going on?" She hurried toward the door, reeling with the tossing of the ship, Chakotay only a step behind her. 

"Captain." It was Harry. "Some sort of...energy waves...are hitting the ship. I've never seen anything like them. They're..." 

"Shields up, Mr Kim. I'm on my way," she snapped as she hurried down the corridor as quickly as she could. Her headache seemed to have increased fourfold and for an instant, her vision blurred. She stumbled going around a corner. 

Again, Chakotay was there. He steadied her once more, his gaze sharpening as he peered down at her face. "Are you all right?" 

Janeway shook her head to clear it then pulled free and resumed her headlong flight. "I'm fine," she began...and then it happened again. The lights flared and... 

...And Janeway was leaning against a wall in a large room filled with people she didn't know. But it was different this time. The vision was not sharp and clear. Instead, the crowd seemed to be mingling with the ghostly forms of Voyager's crew. A transparent Chakotay stood close by, saying something she couldn't hear. Rushing sounds filled her ears and pain stabbed at her temples. She clutched her head... 

...And the vision vanished, leaving her pale and shaken in the corridor. Chakotay had both hands on her shoulders, an alarmed expression on his face. "Kathryn," he repeated more forcefully, "are you all right?" 

"Yes." She had to brace herself inwardly against the pain in her head. It was abating somewhat, but not fast enough for her. She licked dry lips. "I have to get to the Bridge." Once more she pulled out of his grip and set off toward the turbolift. Chakotay pursued her down the corridor. 

"Captain..." 

"It can wait Chakotay." Her tone was flat, allowing no argument. And then the turbolift door opened and she stepped inside, Chakotay shadowing her every move. As the door closed behind them, he said flatly: "It happened again, didn't it?" 

Janeway glanced sideways at him. "Maybe. I don't know. It was different this time." He stiffened, and she hurriedly resumed speaking to forestall what she knew he was going to say. "We'll discuss this later, Commander. Right now I need to know what's happening outside." As if to punctuate her words, the ship lurched violently again and they both reached for the wall, trying to keep their balance. 

"Captain..." 

She could see he wasn't going to drop it this time. But before he could continue the door slid open and Janeway stepped out onto the Bridge. "Report." She strode quickly toward the Captain's chair. 

Harry turned to her, clutching his console for balance. In front of them, Paris was struggling to keep the ship on an even keel while ahead, on the view screen, energy waves could be seen crashing over the ship at regular intervals. They tossed the ship with ease, despite the shields and the crew's efforts. 

"They appear to be some sort of particle waves, Captain, but I have never seen anything like them before," Tuvok told her. 

"Where are they coming from?" Chakotay asked, settling into his chair and gripping the sides as the ship lurched yet again. 

The Vulcan frowned, his hands dancing over the console. "They are coming from a point somewhere behind us but I cannot pinpoint the location. They appear to have travelled for some distance though." 

"Tom, can you get us out of here?" Janeway asked. 

"I'm trying, Captain, but the warp engines are fluctuating. Something about these energy waves is interfering with them." 

"Janeway to Engineering." 

"I know, I know!" B'elanna's voice was strained. "The warp coils are going down. I'm working on it!" The communicator link fell silent. 

Janeway turned and met Chakotay's eyes. For a moment the tension and things left unsaid between them vanished and they were once more a team, faced with a crisis. "What about Impulse?" he said. 

"You heard the Commander, Tom. Get us out of here." 

"Aye aye, Captain." His hands flew across the console. 

Slowly, labouriously, the ship started to come around, angling its nose across the energy surges...and abruptly the waves stopped. One last swell broke across their bow and then they were gone. Empty space shone on the viewscreen. A startled silence fell over the Bridge. 

Tuvok broke the silence. "The waves seem to have dissipated, Captain. I am scanning for any signs." 

Janeway exhaled, only now realizing that she had been holding her breath. She turned back to her First Officer... 

...and was once more in the crowded room. But the vision were sharp and clear again. She could see every person in the crowd and feel the rough surface of the wall she was leaning against. Janeway bit her lip. "Not again," she thought. "Not now. My ship needs me..." She closed her eyes, wishing desperately to find herself back on the Bridge of Voyager when she opened them. It didn't work. She was still here. Wherever here was... 

"All right," she thought, pushing herself away from the wall. "It's time to get some answers." She took a step forward then stopped as someone began to speak. Hastily she scanned the room. There. At the front. The woman she had seen before -- Yvara -- was speaking. Janeway froze and strained to hear over the sounds of the crowd. 

"You've all heard what Eidolon said," Yvara was saying, "and you must agree that we can't let this happen. Eidolon is right. We have to stop them from finishing the Guardian...by whatever means are necessary." 

"What are you saying, Yvara?" someone called from the crowd. 

"I'm saying that if we act, they will use any means necessary to stop us. And...we will have to respond in kind. There...will be violence." 

There was an uncomfortable silence from the crowd. Then one person, an older man, stood and said: "But what if Eidolon is wrong. Or lying to us. Where's your proof of all this? You're asking us to risk our lives. Based on what? One person's word?" 

"One _Shay'anari's_ word. Why would Eidolon lie?" 

"Why would the others?" Murmurs of agreement rippled through the crowd. Yvara shifted uncomfortably, looking pleadingly toward Janeway...toward Eidolon. 

Janeway glanced around at the crowd. Several dark looks were being cast at her before the faces hastily turned back to the front and those nearest her edged away a little. She bit her lip in frustration. What was going on? These brief snippets of somebody else's life were only serving to confuse her. She took a deep breath. "I have got to make some sense out of this, before I go crazy. All right," she told herself firmly. "You may not have all the answers, but let's try putting some of the pieces together." 

Focus on the facts. She was having a recurring series of visions or hallucinations that was forming a coherent, if confused narrative. Despite the gaps, she could make at least some sense out of all of it. She...or Eidolon rather...had convinced this Yvara to stop...somebody... from finishing the Guardian, and Yvara in turn was trying to convince the others. 

And Janeway hadn't been possessed by Eidolon. That much, she was certain. Or, if she were, it was not in the same way as before. Then, she had found herself thrust violently into the back of her mind, losing control of her body as the alien usurped her. Now, she retained complete control -- but seemed to be losing her mind... She shook herself inwardly. "Unproductive thoughts, Kathryn." 

Janeway's mind went back to the events of three weeks ago. If this was the same planet Eidolon had taken her to, then these visions must be taking place in the distant past. It made sense. Eidolon had been surprised at the lifelessness of the unnamed planet and had told her he had been away for a long time. And the Guardian had stated that Eidolon's people had long since departed. 

So. She was in the past and was somehow reliving events from Eidolon's life. But why? And how? She closed her eyes, ignoring the crowd around her. The Guardian. The alien computer seemed to be the key to everything. But it lay crushed and lifeless in the present, sealed off when the cave collapsed. Yet here, now, it hadn't even been built and already Eidolon was trying to destroy it. Why? She sighed. They knew so little about Eidolon and his people. Chakotay had been able to tell her very little and she herself had tried to put her own brief experience with the Wraith out of her mind. Her mind had been full of...other things... 

She cut that line of thought off quickly and refocused on the immediate problem -- such as why was this happening to her and how could she stop it? Unfortunately, she didn't seem to have an answer for either... 

The sounds from the crowd interrupted her reverie and Janeway opened her eyes. People were rising and moving toward the door. At the front, Yvara was trying desperately to stop them. "Listen to me," she called, "Please! You must listen. The Guardian will..." 

"We've worked to build the Guardian all our lives," someone shouted, "As did our parents and grandparents. And now you stand here and ask us to destroy all those years of work...simply because _he_ says so?" The man shook his head angrily. 

Yvara made one last effort to stop them. "You must help us." she cried, "Do it for Anari. This planet needs...!" 

"Anari needs the Guardian. "Go back to the mines, Yvara. Go back to your fantasies. We have work to do." There were a few shouts of approval from the rest before they slowly filed out. 

Janeway pressed herself back against the wall as they passed, unwilling to face the harsh glares and muttered words aimed at her. She let out a deep breath as the last person exited the building. And then she was alone with Yvara. 

The woman stared at her, trembling with anger. When she spoke, her voice was low and accusing. "Why didn't you say something?" 

"I..." Janeway didn't know what to say. The truth -- that she wasn't really Eidolon, but was an alien from the distant future -- certainly wouldn't help. But then it didn't matter, for Yvara continued, not waiting for her response. 

"Why didn't you help me convince them? How could you just stand there and...?" 

"They didn't want to be convinced. Nothing we could have said would have changed their mind." It was Janeway's voice, but the words were not her own. Once more something inside her was supplying her with what she needed... 

"So now what do we do?" Yvara asked, the anger abruptly fading from her voice, leaving only exhaustion behind. 

Janeway found herself listening breathlessly for her response, hoping that the next sentence would answer some of the questions raging within her. "Now," she heard herself saying, "we destroy the Guardian ourselves." 

Yvara gasped... 

...and Janeway was back on the Bridge. 

She had only a fraction of a second to realize where she was before the pain hit her. Her headache returned, a thousand times worse than before. She cried out and stiffened in her chair, feeling as if her neurons were being scorched from within...and then it abated. Just a little. Gasping, she opened her eyes...to find everyone staring her with alarm on their faces. 

"Captain," It was Tuvok. "Are you all right?" 

She put a shaking hand to her forehead. "Yes. I'm fine. It's just..." Her voice trailed off. 

Chakotay's voice was bleak. "Another vision?" 

"Yes, but..." She turned to face him, barely able to see past the pain. 

He rose gracefully and looked back at Harry. "Mr Kim," he said quietly, "Will you please help the Captain to sickbay?" Harry leapt to his feet. 

"No, wait," Janeway said hastily. "I...I think I know where those energy waves were coming from." Where had that come from? She blinked in astonishment, forgetting for the moment the agony coursing through her...then realized that she did, in fact, know the source of the waves. "Anari. We have to go back to Anari." 

"Anari?" Once more Tuvok was speaking. Beside her, Chakotay froze. She glanced once at him, then turned to face her Security Officer. 

"Yes," she said, "My...Eidolon's...homeworld." Damn. That slip of the tongue had been a mistake, Janeway realized as her First Officer tensed. She tried desperately to clear her head. The pain was ebbing slowly, but it was still enough to make breathing, let along thinking, difficult. She tried again. 

"The planet that Eidolon took us to...it was called Anari. That's where the waves are coming from." 

"How do you know this, Captain?" The Vulcan's voice held nothing but cold logic. And still Chakotay said nothing. 

She closed her eyes. "I...don't know. I just do." She straightened her shoulders. "We have to go back. Tom, turn the ship around and set a course for the planet..." 

"Belay that order." 

Janeway turned to her First Officer in shock. Around them, everyone stilled and a tense silence descended upon the Bridge. She stared at Chakotay for an endless moment. "What did you say?" 

A muscle tightened in his jaw and he licked dry lips. "I'm sorry, Captain, but you are hereby relieved of command." 

The tension, if possible, deepened. Nobody moved. Nobody even breathed. Janeway took a half breath, staring into his eyes. "You..." She swallowed, unable to get the words out, then: "Why?" 

He closed his eyes briefly, as if in pain, then met her gaze valiantly. "You're not well and...I believe your ability to make judgements concerning the ship's well-being has been...impaired. I am therefore ordering you to report to sickbay and remain there until further notice." 

Janeway sank back in her chair. Suddenly her headache didn't seem nearly so important now. That Chakotay could...No. She couldn't even think the words, let alone accept what he had done. Her mind seemed to have shut down altogether. 

Chakotay beckoned to Harry. "Mr. Kim. Will you please escort the Captain to sickbay." For an eternity, no one moved, then the Ensign reluctantly left his post and edged toward her. Janeway glanced blindly at him, then turned to the Vulcan. 

"Tuvok?" 

He hesitated, then replied. "I...concur with Commander Chakotay. You are not well, Captain...and it is possible that you are...not yourself. It would not be logical to..." 

"I have _not_ been taken over, damn it." Her voice rose and several members of the crew, Paris included, jumped. Janeway watched, as if from a great distance, as Tuvok's hand edged towards a phaser. 

"Captain?" It was a quiet voice next to her. Harry's. He was hovering like a nervous puppy, not quite sure of her reaction. She swallowed and closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. Marshalling her thoughts and her remaining dignity she stood, not meeting Chakotay's gaze. 

"Very well," she said coldly. "I'll go. But I have _not_ been taken over, and if we want to determine the cause of those energy waves then we will _have_ to return to Anari." With that, she headed toward the turbolift, Ensign Kim trailing unhappily after her. 

Janeway didn't look back. If she had, she might have seen the expression of anguish in her First Officer's eyes. 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	4. Chapter Four

Full Circle 4 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 4/9 

**FULL CIRCLE IV**

  


Chakotay sat numbly in Kathryn's chair. No one on the Bridge met his eyes and a deathly silence had fallen. He had to resist the urge to stand up and explain his actions...or to flee. In the end he did neither. Instead he sat stiffly in her chair and asked for a report on the ship's status. 

"Navigation and warp are back on line...Sir." Paris' voice was low and subdued. He didn't look behind him. 

Tuvok added: "Long distance scanners detect no sign of the energy waves. They seem to have dissipated completely. Repairs to the ship are underway. There are no reports of casualties." 

Chakotay nodded. Another lengthy silence fell. Then the turbolift doors slid open and everyone jumped. Seven pairs of eyes turned to Harry Kim who hesitated at the threshold before squaring his shoulders and crossing to Ops. 

Chakotay turned to him. "Mr Kim?" 

"The Captain...that is..." He ground to a halt, then continued, stammering a little. "Uh...she's in sickbay. With the Doctor." 

Chakotay nodded curtly. Once more, an unhappy silence descended. The tension did not abate. 

Finally, Chakotay stood and said to no one in particular: "I'll be in...the ready room. Inform me at once if there's any sign of the energy waves." Not waiting for an answer and carefully not meeting anyone's eyes, he turned and left the Bridge. 

* * * 

"What have I done?" He sank into the sofa across from the desk, unwilling to sit in _her_ chair, and closed his eyes. He had just relieved his Captain of command. Depending on what happened next, he was either acting in the best interests of the ship...or was guilty of mutiny. And right now, he didn't quite know which... 

He tried not to think about the pain he had seen in her eyes...or the fact that he had caused it. But it did no good. The image of Janeway's face and the expression of betrayal she had worn before she managed to hide it rose up before him. Guilt warred with the unhappiness within him. 

The doorchime interrupted his dark thoughts. He opened his eyes and glowered at the door. Whoever it was didn't go away. The chime rang again. Bracing himself inwardly, Chakotay said: "Enter." 

Tuvok. The Commander wasn't surprised. He had expected this -- just not so soon. "Sit down, Lieutenant," he said wearily. 

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow to see Chakotay sitting on the sofa rather than behind the desk, but crossed to a nearby chair, turning it to face Chakotay. Without preamble, he said: "May I ask what your intentions are, Sir?" 

Chakotay swallowed, feeling slightly ill. "I don't know. I'm open to suggestions." 

Tuvok didn't hesitate. "Very well. I suggest you talk to Captain Janeway." 

"I don't think she'll want to talk to _me_ right now." His tone was bleak. 

"Probably not. Nevertheless, the question of her identity and state of mind remains in doubt. You are the person most likely to determine whether she has indeed been taken over." 

Chakotay shook his head. "No. Not me. You've known her longer than I have..." 

"From my observations, _you_ are the person she is closest to on this ship. That, plus the fact that you have first hand knowledge of Eidolon and his methods of possession..." Chakotay winced slightly. "...makes you the most logical choice." 

The Commander closed his eyes briefly before meeting the Vulcan's gaze. "What if I was wrong?" It came out as a whisper. 

Tuvok paused. "I...do not know. I do not know _how_ she will react to this. But Commander...you should be asking yourself...what if you are right?" 

Chakotay rose to pace across the ready room, unconsciously following the same path Janeway had taken, hours earlier. "I know. The Kathryn Janeway we know...may not even exist any more." A shaft of pain went through him, surprising him with its intensity. If she were gone...then so was his world. His pace faltered. 

Tuvok spoke again. "Commander...I suggest you go to sickbay and endeavour to find out." 

Chakotay turned to face the other man. "You backed me up out there just now. What do you believe?" 

Tuvok paused, then said: "Given the violent nature of Eidolon I believe it was...wise...to take precautions. It would not be logical to leave Captain Janeway in command while there are doubts as to her identity and mindset. If you had not relieved her of command, I would have done so." 

That didn't make him feel any better. If anything, he felt worse. It was as if they had all turned against her... Chakotay had sworn to himself early on that he would stand by her and would never hurt her. He had broken his word now, on both counts. A shudder ripped through him. 

Tuvok was still talking. "Hopefully the Doctor will be able to determine the cause of her blackouts and stop them. In the meantime, there is the ship to consider." 

Chakotay nodded numbly. "All right Tuvok. You have the Bridge. Keep scanning for the energy waves and continue with the repairs to the ship. I'll...be in sickbay. With the Captain." 

The Vulcan stood and waited for Chakotay to precede him out the door. They had nearly reached it when Tuvok stopped him. "Commander?" 

"Yes?" 

"Captain Janeway may have been right on one count. If we are to discover the meaning of her visions and these energy waves...we may well have to return to the planet..." 

* * * 

Janeway sat stiffly in sickbay, refraining from both verbal and physical assaults on the Doctor by sheer willpower. The hologram babbled on cheerfully, heedless of her homicidal feelings, while he ran an even more extensive series of tests on her. 

When they had entered, Ensign Kim had hovered indecisively for a moment then gratefully bolted when she told him to return to the Bridge, leaving her alone with the Doctor...and her thoughts. The hologram had given her something for her headache but she hadn't bothered to tell him that, after the first moment or two, it wasn't working. No, she had other things on her mind besides the pain in her head. If anything, she was almost grateful for it...it kept her from dwelling too fully on what had happened... 

"I have to check a few more readings," the Doctor was saying. "Just lie down and relax. I'll be right back." She didn't move. Finally, something of her demeanour crept into his awareness. "Or...you could always just sit there." He cast her a wary glance then hastily moved to another part of sickbay. 

Janeway barely noticed that he was gone. She was concentrating on not moving. If she moved, she would give in to the anger that was consuming her. If she even thought about it, she would do something violent. Something she would regret later. And so she sat quietly, focusing on breathing. 

The door slid open. Without looking she knew who it was. Chakotay. "You will not lose your temper," she told herself resolutely, "You will be calm and rational." Rational. Right. Her fists clenched. 

"Kathryn?" His voice was low and hesitant. 

"Yes." Her own was cold and flat. Chakotay flinched, then forced himself to continue. 

"I...we need to talk." 

"Go on then." 

He swallowed, fighting the cowardly impulse to turn around and head right back out the door. She didn't look at him, merely sat on the biobed, waves of icy coldness emanating from her. This was worse than he had imagined. Much worse. 

"I...stand by my decision." 

That got a reaction, though probably not the one he had hoped for. Her head swung round and her eyes met his. He took an involuntary step backwards. He was wrong -- she wasn't giving off waves of ice...instead, fire seemed to be crackling from within her and she was obviously holding onto her temper by her fingernails. Once more the impulse to run swept over him. 

"I see." She stood carefully and walked toward him. He shifted his weight, but stood his ground. "You 'stand by your decision.' How admirable." Her voice rose. "Did it never occur to you to talk this over with me first? Or that you might perhaps be overreacting because of your own experiences with Eidolon?" 

"Kathryn..." 

"Don't call me that!" The words lashed at him and Chakotay paled. Pain flitted across his face. 

Janeway abruptly turned to pace rapidly across the sickbay floor, certain that if she didn't move away, she would punch him in the jaw. Hard. It was so tempting. He was standing at attention in the middle of the floor and she was suddenly convinced that if she did try to hit him, he wouldn't even duck. She took a deep breath. No. That wasn't the answer. She closed her eyes briefly, then turned back to him, her emotions whirling. 

"All right," she said, a little more calmly now, "I appreciate your position. I can understand you putting the ship's safety first. However," she said more forcefully, as he opened his mouth to reply, "I have _not_ been possessed by anything. Or anyone. I am still me." 

"That's exactly what Eidolon would say if you _had_ been possessed." His voice was low. 

She _was_ going to hit him. Or perhaps scream in frustration. How could she convince him...? Janeway _knew_ she was herself. Granted, she had had some doubts at the beginning, but they were gone now. At some point during the last few hours she had lost the fear that Eidolon was still inside her somewhere, waiting to take control. These hallucinations were not a side-effect of some alien possession. She didn't know what they were, but she knew what they _weren't_. Now if she could only convince him... 

Then she had it -- the answer. She cast her First Officer a long look, hesitated, then turned and walked back toward him. He didn't move. "Commander. Chakotay." There was a tremor in her voice, but it was no longer caused by anger. "If I _had_ been taken over by Eidolon, _you_ would know. Others might not...but you would." 

His eyes darted to her in surprise and he licked dry lips. She bit her own lip and continued, directing her words somewhere over his right shoulder. "When...you were possessed, I knew it. Somehow. Almost right away." She paused, drawing in a ragged breath. "I'd like to think that you know me as well as I do. Probably more. That... even if your eyes deceived you...something within you would recognize the truth." 

She took another half-step closer and tilted her head to look up at him. "Chakotay," she said softly, "Look at me. Tell me who you see." 

He stared down at her, all his emotions naked on his face. He hesitated...took a deep breath...and pulled her into his arms. "Kathryn," he whispered brokenly into her hair. 

That word held everything. Relief, sorrow, guilt...and something else she wasn't ready to acknowledge. Janeway stiffened for just an instant then slowly relaxed, her own arms tightening around his body. She drew in a ragged breath. He believed her. He _believed_ her. A tear gathered at the corner of her eyes. 

Chakotay held his Captain in his arms, feeling her heartbeat gradually slow to match his. How could he have allowed his own fears and worries to blind him like this? "Forgive me," he asked, so quietly she could barely hear him, his arms tightening around her. "I'm sorry." 

She nodded once, her face hidden against his chest. Then, after a lifetime, she reluctantly began to disengage from his embrace. Chakotay fought down the impulse to hold her for just a little while longer, and released her, trying to get his own emotions under control. He looked down at her and, giving in to temptation, gently wiped the tear from her cheek with one finger. She gave him a quick half-smile before taking a small step back. The smile vanished. 

"Commander..." 

He braced himself. Despite her apparent forgiveness, he still had a lot to answer for. A distant part of his mind wondered how mutiny would look on his record. Well, he was already guilty of treason...why not mutiny...? 

"Commander...about what happened on the Bridge...You may have acted for the wrong reasons..." A pause. "But you might have made the right decision..." 

Chakotay blinked. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't that. He frowned down at her, noticing for the first time how pale and strained she looked. 

Janeway continued unsteadily. "...because given the way I'm feeling right now, I'm not fit to command a toy boat, let alone a Starship..." Even as she spoke, she swayed. 

Instantly he moved forward, catching her before she could fall, and steering her toward the biobed. "Doctor," he shouted. Janeway clutched Chakotay's arm as the hologram hurried toward them. The pain that had been slowly building behind her eyes had suddenly exploded within her and she could no longer ignore it. She gasped as they helped her onto the bed, grey fog obscuring her vision. She felt as if hot lances were slowly being driven into her skull. Pain consumed her. Distantly, she realized she was still clinging to Chakotay's hand. 

"Doctor. What's the matter with her?" Fear went through him in a rush. 

"I don't know." The hologram held a medical tricorder over her, frowning at the readings. "Her isotronic neutrino levels have increased exponentially. There's a massive buildup of..." His voice faded away as light flared behind Janeway's eyes... 

...then erupted. She opened them...to see a dozen men with weapons firing at her. Instantly, she ducked behind what looked like a mining cart. To her left, Yvara raised a similar weapon, shaped like a laser rifle, and fired back. Laserbolts whined through the air and the heat was intense. 

The pain was gone. Relief swept through her. Then another laserbolt just overhead drove everything else from her mind. Janeway glanced around hastily, carefully staying behind the dubious shelter of the cart. 

She was in the Guardian's cave. Only this time, the strands of lights in the floor didn't pulse and the central console was only half complete. She was still in the past. Then the memory of what she...Eidolon...had said before came back to her. "We'll destroy the Guardian ourselves..." 

It obviously wasn't going well. She and Yvara were pinned down in the cavern by...whoever they were. Even as she realized this, some part of her mind was analyzing the situation, weighing options, looking for a way to accomplish their mission... "What mission?" the part that was still Janeway screamed silently in frustration. "Why destroy this computer? Why risk their lives for..." 

A laserbolt hit the rockwall. Janeway started. That had come from _behind _them. Both she and the alien woman started to turn...and another bolt hit Yvara high on the chest. The woman gasped, a surprised expression on her face, and the laser gun dropped from numb fingers. As if in slow motion, she crumpled to the ground. 

"NO!" Janeway found herself screaming, raising the gun she hadn't known she carried, and firing at the oncoming men. One bolt hit the first, and he slammed backwards into the wall, a shower of sparks erupting from a buried energy line. Janeway fired again, then ran toward the fallen woman. She had almost reached her when a laser bolt hit her in the middle of the back. Janeway lurched forward, not yet feeling the pain, and crashed to the ground near Yvara. 

And then it hit her. Agony. Overwhelming, all-consuming pain, like nothing she had ever experienced. Or imagined. Someone...Janeway or Eidolon, she didn't know who...had time to whisper only one word before another bolt burned into her body. "Anari..." she said...and the light around her faded. 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	5. Chapter Five

Full Circle 5 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 5/9 

**FULL CIRCLE V**

  


Janeway awoke slowly. It was difficult to claw her way back to consciousness but slowly voices began to filter into her awareness. She managed to crack one eye open... and promptly closed it again, her stomach lurching in protest. 

"Kathryn?" The voice sounded uncertain...and fearful. 

She opened both eyes. Grey streaks swirled across her vision. Then a hypospray was pressed to her neck and the streaks vanished. "Chakotay?" He was still holding her hand, she realized distantly. 

"Yes. I'm here. You're going to be all right." 

"Wha' happened?" It was difficult to form the words. She squinted a little and he drifted into view, the Doctor beside him. She frowned. Her First Officer looked... shattered. 

The hologram answered for him. "Your heart stopped. We managed to stabilize you in time, but it was a near thing." 

Janeway lifted a heavy hand to her head, the now familiar pain beginning to throb behind her eyes. At least it wasn't quite so bad this time. She could cope with it, she decided...if she didn't move...or breathe. "What's wrong with me?" It was a becoming a little easier to speak, she noticed distantly.   
  
"We...still don't know. All the tests are negative so far. I don't know what's causing your blackouts...but whatever it is nearly killed you. The next time you may not be so lucky..." 

"Chakotay..." she interrupted weakly. 

"Yes, Kathryn?" 

Her eyes drifted shut. "We have to go back. To Anari. It's the only way to find out what's happening. We have to..." 

She felt a hand touch her cheek lightly...or perhaps she only imagined it. "We will," she heard him say, before the darkness claimed her once more. 

* * * 

Voyager hurtled through space, slight tremors going through her hull as the engines strained for every last bit of speed. Chakotay's terse command from sickbay to set a course for the planet Anari at maximum warp had had an instantaneous effect and they were now heading back, as fast as the ship could carry them. 

He hoped it was fast enough. The Doctor had assured him that the Captain's condition, though serious, was stable, but he couldn't quite believe it. She so pale and still, as if death were only a heartbeat or a single breath away. He sat next to her, watching her breathe in and out...and prayed. 

He couldn't lose her. If she died because of his delay...because of his own fears... 

He loved her. He had known he loved her for quite some time, but had never quite managed to say the words, even to himself. Now though, he couldn't lie about _anything_ anymore. He loved her. He needed her. If she died... 

Janeway stirred slightly and Chakotay bolted to his feet. Her eyes flickered open. She blinked once or twice, as if clearing her vision, then asked: "What's happening?" Her voice was still weak, but stronger than it had been. His heart leapt. 

"We're on our way back to Anari. How do you feel?" 

She gave him a small smile. "Do you want the truth or a comforting lie?" 

"The truth." He smiled back. 

She raised her head a little, looking somewhat surprised that she could do so, then glanced around sickbay. "It feels as if a starship just landed on me, but other than that...I feel a little better." 

A disbelieving expression crossed his face and her smile widened. "Honestly. The headache...is still there...but it doesn't feel like my head is going to explode at any minute. Really." She added when he still looked sceptical. 

"Another blackout may kill you." His tone turned serious. 

Likewise, her smile vanished. "I know it. But...I finally feel like I'm getting some answers." 

"What kind of answers?" 

She told him. Everything she could remember from the latest vision. "Although," she finished shifting her shoulders a little, "I could have happily gone through life not knowing what it felt like to be shot in the back." 

He looked away and didn't answer. She continued, not noticing his reaction. "But there's something that doesn't make sense. I have the feeling that I'm not seeing the whole picture." 

"What is there to see?" Chakotay asked. "We already knew that Eidolon killed a 'host' and was exiled. You yourself saw him lead an attack on the Guardian and kill a man...if what you are seeing really did happen... What else is there?" 

"I don't know. I just know that...it's not what we think." She sighed and looked away in frustration. "Maybe I'll find what I'm looking for on Anari..." 

"What _do_ you expect to find?" 

"Answers. The truth. More questions. I don't know..." Her voice trailed off. 

Chakotay rested one hand lightly on the top of hers. "We'll find the answers, Kathryn," he said. "No matter what it takes, we'll find them." His fingers tightened on hers. 

* * * 

By the time Voyager had swung into orbit around the small, greyish-brown M-class planet, Janeway had recovered enough to fight with her First Officer about going down to the surface. She had managed to leave sickbay by the simple expedient of ignoring both the Doctor's and Kes' objections, and had made her slow but steady way to the transporter room where the away team, consisting of Chakotay, B'Elanna, and Paris, had gathered. 

"Just what precisely do you expect to do down there?" There was an angry note in Chakotay's voice that was belied by the worry on his face. Paris and B'Elanna carefully averted their gazes from the two senior officers and moved towards the far side of the room, giving them at least the illusion of privacy. 

"And what do you expect to do without me?" There was an edge to Janeway's tone. "_I'm_ the one reliving this damned alien's life. I'm the one having these visions and I'm the one who knows more about this planet than anyone else on this ship. Including you. I have to go." Her patience was wearing thin. Besides, she was finding it increasingly difficult to hide the lingering effects of her latest blackout. It had taken a good deal of effort to make it this far; it was taking even more to maintain an upright position. If he knew how weak she really was he would never let her transport down to the surface. Janeway fought for the strength she needed, keeping her gaze firm. 

"I'm fine. Really. The headache is nearly gone." 

She was lying. Chakotay could read the strain on her face, see the shadows in her eyes as she tried to hide the pain. "You're not well," he said quietly so the others couldn't hear. "You can barely stand, let alone face whatever is down there. How do you expect to..." 

She cut him off. "I have to go. You know that, Chakotay." Her voice softened and she touched his arm lightly. "Please." 

He couldn't let her do this...couldn't allow her to put herself in danger... But he couldn't keep her here either. It was obvious that, for some reason, she _needed_ to return to Anari. Despite the dangers. And, gods help him, he would help her. And hope that, somehow, at the end of all this, he would get her back. 

For a long moment he hesitated, then his shoulders slumped fractionally. "All right," he said, "But I want you to promise to tell me immediately if...if _anything_ happens.!" 

She nodded. "I promise." 

"And the Doctor goes with us," he added. 

"Fine. But we need to hurry." 

He hesitated for a moment longer then touched his communicator, wondering if he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. "Doctor -- report to transporter room two." 

* * * 

It had taken only moments for the hologram to arrive and the party to gather on the transporter pads...and then they had beamed down to Anari. Once more Janeway found herself on the dry, desolate world, the desert wind whipping through her hair and rust-coloured earth and rocks crunching underfoot. A wave of memories swept over her. Eidolon inhabiting Chakotay's body, threatening her; the shuttle crash; the bite of the gwari and its poison rushing through her veins; their nerve-shattering trek across the ravine...and the Guardian. 

And then other memories intruded. Eidolon's memories. The flowers on the hillside; the shining city; Yvara dying in his arms...and the Guardian. An aching sense of desolation and loss filled her and she no longer knew whose emotions she was experiencing -- her own or the Wraith's... Not that it really mattered any more. She had to get to the Guardian. Now. The impulse that had been growing within her became almost unbearable. She had to reach the cavern before it was too late. Or everything would be lost. Everything. 

As if on a signal, her head came up, turning towards a rocky outcrop above and to the left of the now-buried entrance to the cave. There. Another way in. She didn't question the impulse but moved hastily forward, not caring if the others followed or not. 

The away team spun, startled, as she headed toward the cliff. "Captain!" Chakotay bolted after her, seizing her arm and dragging her to a halt. "What are you doing?" 

She resisted the urge to wrest herself from his grip and spoke carefully. "There's another way in. Up there." She pointed with her free hand. 

He followed her gaze. "Where? And how do you know?" 

"There. Behind the rock. And...I just know. Somehow." She was almost dancing with impatience, her headache long since forgotten. 

By now the others had caught up to them. The Doctor ran his medical tricorder over her without ceremony. "Captain, you should not be exerting yourself. Your neutrinos..." 

"Damn my neutrinos." She spoke fiercely then turned back to Chakotay. "This is what we came for, isn't it? Or did you intend to just wait around outside?" 

Something of the urgency inside her must have communicated itself to her First Officer, for he met her eyes for a long moment then nodded fractionally and replied: "All right. But I go first. Understood?" 

Janeway nodded impatiently. "Yes. Fine. Just...hurry." 

* * * 

They found the rift exactly where she said it would be. Behind the rocky outgrowth, a secondary entrance stood, black shadows shrouding its depths. Paris and B'Elanna exchanged a tense glance then removed their emergency lights from their belts and followed the Captain, who was almost treading on Chakotay's heels. Behind them, the Doctor paused for an instant, shook his head once, then followed them into the rift. 

* * * 

The group descended steadily for what felt like a lifetime but could have been no more than ten minues. And then they unexpectedly plunged into a large cavern. The Guardian. 

Janeway came to a halt, trying to still her racing heart, her breathlessness caused by more than just exertion, and angled her light around the cavern. 

It had changed. Before, the Guardian's cave had glittered and pulsed like a Christmas tree. Now the energy lines in the walls and floor lay dead and still, and the only light came from their own equipment. Debris littered the floor and, in the centre the console was dark and lifeless. No computer's voice greeted their arrival and grey dust hung thickly in the air. 

"Gloomy, isn't it?." Paris' voice sounded loud in the silence and everyone jumped. Everyone but Janeway, whose gaze did not stir from the central console. B'Elanna shot Paris an accusing glare. 

"Must you state the obvious?" she asked acerbically as she shone her own light around the cavern. 

"Usually...Yes." He looked around, a faint glimmer lighting his eyes. "I feel like a tomb robber..." 

"Ooh...nice image, Tom. Thanks so much for brightening our day..." 

The conversation continued, but Janeway ignored them, stepping slowly around her First Officer to move toward the console. Chakotay let her go but followed close behind her. Both were forced to tread carefully through the thick rubble. 

"Captain?" Unlike Paris, the Commander's voice was hushed. 

"Yes?" she said absently, not stopping. 

"Are you all right?" He spoke quietly, so the others wouldn't hear. 

"Fine," she said briefly, moving through the gloom until she had reached the console. She carefully set her light down on it then ran a hand across its dusty surface. Meticulously, she brushed away some of the dust and debris. 

Chakotay frowned worriedly. "Captain. Tell me what's going on." 

She shook her head. "Something..." Her voice trailed off and her gaze was caught by one panel. It seemed to be drawing her in, mesmerizing her. Distant voices echoed within her mind and she strained to listen. If she could just hear what they were saying...everything would make sense. She would have the answers she sought. She was sure of it... 

"Captain!" Chakotay spoke more harshly. 

She pulled her eyes away with a start and blinked. "What?" 

"You..." he hesitated. "I thought you were having another blackout." 

"No, I don't think so," she said vacantly, her attention returning to the console. "Not here. Not now. Maybe later..." Her voice trailed off. 

"Kathryn...You're scaring me." It was true. Alarm was coursing through him and, for a moment, he debated signalling Voyager to beam her up immediately. But he hesitated...and then it was too late. 

The Captain reached out and touched a section of the console and shuddered as a faint spark arced between her and the machine. She stiffened, gasped, and took a hasty step backward. 

Apprehension shot through him and he reached toward her. "Captain!" His voice was sharp now and loud enough for the the others to hear. Three heads snapped around even as she shrugged his hands off with ease, shoving him aside and moving to the console, her fingers dancing over the dusty instruments.   
  
"Kathryn, stop!" The others rushed forward then skidded to a sudden halt as she reached out, pulled his phaser from his belt, and aimed it at his heart. 

Chakotay froze. "Kathryn..." His voice was hoarse, his mouth dry. This wasn't happening... Moving infinitely slowly, he gestured to the others to remain where they were then took a cautious step forward. "Kathryn, listen to me..." he began again. 

"Don't move," she kept the phaser aimed on him even as her free hand returned to the dormant Guardian. "Just stay where you are. I don't want to shoot you. This will only take a moment." 

"What are you doing?" He had to keep her talking, had to distract her long enough to seize the weapon... 

"I'm finishing what I started." The voice was Kathryn Janeway's, but the inflection was not. The last time he had heard it, it had been coming from his mouth. A chill ran through him. 

"Eidolon." It wasn't a question. Behind him, Chakotay could hear the Doctor's tricorder working. Janeway...or Eidolon...ignored them both, continuing to adjust more settings one-handed. Around them, the cavern brightened slightly. 

"Commander," the Doctor spoke quietly. "The Captain's isotronic neutrinos are reaching critical levels. If we don't get her to sickbay quickly..." 

"There!" The woman at the console turned away from them and put the phaser down to use both hands on the instruments...and Chakotay moved instantly, diving toward her. For an instant, a sense of deja vu swept over him -- he had done this once before in this place, had hurtled himself desperately at his Captain... 

...and then his full weight was impacting with hers and she was flung backwards away from the console...as a wave of light streamed out from it in a blinding torrent. 

"No!" She had time only to scream...before the light hit them both, going _through_ them, and cascading into the energy lines. Janeway cried out once more, her body stiffening as it burned through her, then she went limp beneath him. Chakotay started to raise his head...and the world erupted. The cavern shook violently as waves of seismic power went through it, and the light, now pouring through the energy lines, tripled in intensity. 

It was like being caught in the middle of a supernova. The rest of the away team had time only to shield their eyes...and then the brilliance permeated the rock itself. Chakotay caught only a glimpse of the others, framed in bright radioactive halos before he was shaken like a rag as the quake grew in force. More rubble fell from the cavern's roof and he struggled to protect Janeway, covering her body with his own. 

'We're going to die,' he had time to think...and then the light blasted open the roof of the cavern and the heavens exploded. Rocks and boulders plummeted down from the ceiling... and Chakotay knew no more. 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	6. Chapter Six

Full Circle 6 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 6/9 

**FULL CIRCLE VI**

  


Chakotay awoke in the transporter room on Voyager. He was half-suspended between B'Elanna and Paris, their arms supporting his weight. He blinked and shook his head, wincing as the pain hit him. And then memory returned. The earthquake...and Kathryn. 

He twisted free of their grip, turning to see the Doctor leaning over the unconscious form of Captain Janeway. Even as his heart lurched once, painfully, the hologram was shouting: "I said beam us to sickbay!" 

"Sorry Sir. The transporters just went offline." The Ensign behind the console was working feverishly. B'Elanna darted forward. 

"Here, let me." Unceremoniously, she shoved him aside. 

"There's no time." The Doctor flung the words at them, gathered the unconscious woman in his arms, and headed for the exit. 

_Follow them._ Chakotay took a step forward...then stumbled as the ship rocked violently beneath him. 

"Commander Chakotay to the Bridge." The voice echoed over the comlink as another tremor tossed the starship. 

Chakotay hesitated for a heartbeat, staring after the rapidly disappearing Doctor and Janeway. Then he turned to Paris, who had moved up beside him. "Go with them. And let me know what...what..." 

"I will," Paris only had time to say, and then the Commander was gone. 

* * * 

Chakotay sprinted down the corridor at top speed, which wasn't terribly fast given the fact that the ship was shaking beneath him like a leaf in a hurricane. Plus he seemed to have twisted his knee at some point in the cavern. Nevertheless, he made it to the Bridge in record time. 

"Report!" He barked as he limped onto the Bridge, pulling himself into the nearest chair -- it was Janeway's but he had no time to dwell on that -- as another shockwave hit them. 

Tuvok was clinging to his console with all his Vulcan strength while trying to adjust the ship's sensors one-handed. He had to shout to make himself heard. "I believe they are the same energy waves we encountered before but of much greater magnitude. We must be almost at their source." 

"Then get us out of here." Chakotay clung grimly to the sides of the chair as the ship continued to rock. 

"Not possible. Ship's engines are offline. Shields are buckling...Engineering is attempting to compensate..." 

Chakotay's jaw tightened. "On screen. I want to see what's out there." 

"I'm trying, Sir." Ensign Kim spoke through gritted teeth. "But it's... There!" 

An image materialized on the viewscreen...and a stunned silence descended. 

Energy waves were lashing at the ship as before, but they weren't what had silenced the crew. Rather, it was the immense stream of light and energy coming from the surface of Anari, streaming toward a point in space near the first moon... 

...where a wormhole was slowly opening. 

* * * 

Chakotay and the others caught their breaths...and in that instant, both the energy waves and the stream of light from the surface stopped abruptly. The wormhole remained unchanged for a few moments longer then it too winked out. The edges of space around it, however, continued to shimmer. 

Chakotay wasn't sure how many more surprises he could take today. A wormhole. Here. He swallowed. Hastily, he tried to put his thoughts back into some sort of order. 

"Commander." It was Harry, his voice hushed. "The readings...that is..." He made another effort. "The wormhole is still there, Sir. And it appears to be stable." 

Another, deeper silence fell. Chakotay leaned forward. "Are you certain?" 

"Yes, Sir." The Ensign's voice was more assured now. "At least...this end appears to be completely stable. And old. Sensors indicate it's probably been here for several thousand years. At least." 

With an effort Chakotay dragged his gaze from the viewscreen. "What about the energy waves?" 

Tuvok replied. "They seem to be emanating from the wormhole itself. And, given the buildup of power inside it, I believe they will reappear, with ever-increasing force." 

"When?" For a moment, Chakotay wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. The ship wouldn't be able to take much more of this pounding. 

"I would estimate between thirty and forty minutes. Perhaps less. And, unfortunately, we cannot move to a safe distance. Warp and Impulse engines are offline, weapon systems are not functioning, and the transporters are still down. Shields have fallen to forty percent." 

The Commander grimaced. "We've got to get the engines and nav systems online before the next wave hits. Chakotay to Engineering..." 

Another voice over the ship's communicator interrupted him. The Doctor. 

"Commander Chakotay -- If you're finished tossing the ship around up there will you please come to sickbay?" 

Cold fear washed over him. "The Captain...?" For a moment, his mouth ran dry and fear clawed at him. Was she...? 

"It will be simpler if you just come." The comlink went dead. 

In an instant he was on his feet, his injured leg forgotten. "Tuvok -- You have the Bridge. I'll be in sickbay. Let me know immediately if anything changes. And send Engineering whatever help they need. I'll be back as soon as...as soon as I can." 

The Vulcan nodded, already away. Around him, the crewmembers flung themselves into various tasks despite the cold sense of dread that now hung over the Bridge. Chakotay hesitated no longer. Ignoring the pain in his leg, he left the Bridge. 

* * * 

He shouldn't be doing this, he told himself as he exited the turbolift and hurried down the corridor toward sickbay. The ship was in a state of emergency -- his place was on the Bridge. In the absence of the Captain, the First Officer's duty was clear... 

No. Enough of duty. For this one moment he could set duty aside. The ship was in no immediate danger...and he had to know... If she... 

He couldn't even think it. His mind couldn't even begin to cope with the possibility...that she might be dead. He shuddered and increased his pace. 

* * * 

By the time Chakotay entered sickbay, he was sick with dread. Unconsciously he braced himself against the news that... 

...that she was alive. His heart seemed to stop altogether for an instant, before staggering back into erratic motion. She was _alive_. 

She was sitting on the edge of a biobed as the Doctor ran a tricorder over her, Paris hovering nearby. She was pale and bruised, her uniform torn...but she was alive! 

Chakotay started to move toward her, his spirit soaring. And then his steps slowed. And stopped altogether. The cave...Eidolon. Apprehension replaced the joy. Her body lived. But did _she_? 

He must have made a sound for she turned to him...and her eyes lit. She said one word only -- his name -- and then she reached a hand toward him. 

It was enough. This time Chakotay trusted his instincts...and they were telling him that she _was_ Kathryn Janeway. Without hesitation, he took the final few steps to her side, brushing past the Doctor as if he didn't exist and ignoring Paris. "Kathryn." The name was torn from his throat. Without thinking about what he was doing, he pulled her into a desperate embrace, both arms going tightly around her, trying to reassure himself that she was real. Alive. Here. "Kathryn," he whispered again into her hair. 

Janeway didn't pull away. If anything, she pulled him closer, her own arms encircling him and her heart beating against his. She was trembling violently, Chakotay realized dimly. He shifted his grip and reached one hand up to caress her hair. 

"I'm still me." Her words stumbled over each other. "I'm not Eidolon. He's gone. He was never here. I..." Undercurrents of fear laced her words. Fear that he wouldn't believe her... 

"I know. I believe you." Chakotay broke the embrace enough that he could tilt her face up and meet her eyes. "I believe you, Kathryn." 

She inhaled sharply, a myriad of emotions going through her. Doubt, worry, apprehension, and finally relief flickered across her face. And then some of the tearing tension left her and she slumped bonelessly in his arms, her forehead leaning forward to touch his shoulder. 

"I didn't think you would," she breathed, her eyes closing, "After what happened..." 

He ran one hand over the back of her head, smoothing the hair that had come loose from its ponytail. "You told me to trust my instincts. You were right." 

She smiled. He couldn't see it but somehow knew that she was smiling. He bent his head... 

...And a voice said acerbically: "If you are _quite_ finished with my patient, Commander Chakotay, may I please have her back now?" 

Chakotay abruptly released Janeway, who leaned back against the bed. Damn. He had forgotten the Doctor and Paris... Realizing how much he had just revealed, he turned to the Lieutenant...who was slowly turning an alarming shade of purple. He must have been holding his breath through the entire scene. "Lieutenant..." Chakotay said sharply. Paris exhaled sharply, took a rapid gulp of air...and dissolved into a fit of coughing. 

"Yes, Sir?" he managed to croak. 

"You can return to the Bridge now," the Commander managed to say evenly. Paris nodded, spun around, and bolted from the room. The door slid shut behind him. 

Janeway twitched slightly. Chakotay glanced down at her -- a faint smile was curling at her lips. Relief shot through him. If she was feeling well enough to see the humour in the situation... 

"Are you aware that you've been injured, Commander?" The Doctor interrupted his musings. 

Actually, he was. Uncomfortably aware. His knee seemed to have stiffened up completely, so much so that movement was becoming difficult...not to mention excruciating. He ignored it. There were more important things to worry about after all... 

Janeway's smile wavered and she frowned, her gaze going to his leg. "Are you...?" she started to say. 

"It's nothing," he replied hastily. "Are _you_ all right?" 

"She should be dead." The Doctor said flatly. 

Chakotay blinked. "Excuse me?" 

The hologram turned to Janeway. "Your neutrinos reached a critical level about twenty minutes ago," he told her, "And your brain's chemical patterns have been altered in such a way that even if you weren't dead, you should be in agony...or a coma." He peered more closely at her. "How do you feel?" 

"Well, I'm not in agony or a coma...but I have felt better." She gave him a wan smile. "The headache is still there." 

"Doctor, just what is going on?" Chakotay asked impatiently. 

The Doctor's frown deepened. "I wish I knew. Something is obviously keeping her alive but I don't know what. I can only guess that it's somehow related to what happened in the cave." 

Chakotay looked down at her. "So what did happen?" 

She paused. "This...could be a long story. But first -- what's happening to the ship?" 

Succinctly he told her. A shadow crossed her eyes as he mentioned the wormhole, but no surprise -- which only added to the questions already chasing each other through his mind. What was going on? What had happened in the Guardian's cave? And how was Eidolon involved? He frowned worriedly. They had more than enough questions. Iit was time for answers. 

* * * 

Janeway took a deep breath, brushed a stray lock of hair back with a hand that shook slightly...then began to speak.   
"I'm sorry for pulling a phaser on you in the cave, Chakotay. I...wasn't quite myself." She quickly answered the question that flickered through his eyes. "No, I wasn't taken over again. Not like before. But I...I suppose you could say I was overwhelmed by memories. Eidolon's memories." 

Chakotay leaned against a nearby bed, taking the strain from his injured leg, but saying nothing to interrupt. The Doctor, likewise, listened quietly. 

"I know what's been happening to me," Janeway continued. "Well...most of it, anyway. Somehow, my...exposure...to the Guardian...has made things clearer. It's starting to make sense." 

"What is?" 

"Well, first -- Eidolon really is dead." She didn't miss the quick look of relief that crossed his face. "The Guardian destroyed him three weeks ago. But somehow...I'm not sure how...his memories were left behind. Not all of them of course, but...the important ones. And, over the past few weeks, they've been slowly moving from my subconscious mind to my conscious one." 

"The visions." It wasn't a question. 

She nodded. "Yes. I've been...reliving...events from Eidolon's life. It's as if he were trying to tell me something, even though he's dead. And then, when we were in the cave and I was...linked...with the Guardian, I realized what it was." 

"Go on." 

"I realized...that we were wrong about what happened. Wrong about...a great many things." She leaned forward, staring intensely into her First Officer's eyes. "Chakotay -- it's not what we thought." 

He frowned and shook his head, not understanding. Janeway took a deep breath and forged onward. "I believe Eidolon was trying to do more than just go home. I think he knew about these energy waves, knew what would happen if they escaped from the wormhole. And...I think he was trying to prevent it from happening." 

Chakotay couldn't keep the disbelief from his voice. "Are you saying that the...entity...who stole my body, kidnapped you, sabotaged the ship, and nearly killed us both -- was really trying to do something good?" His voice rose. 

Janeway met his gaze. "Yes," she said simply. 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	7. Chapter Seven

Full Circle 7 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 7/9 

**FULL CIRCLE VII**

  


"I don't believe it." Chakotay's voice was flat and unyielding. "I refuse to believe that Eidolon had anything beside his own interests at heart. 

"I'm not going to defend his methods...but he _did_ try to prevent what's happening now." Janeway shifted a little on the bed. 

"How? How could what he did affect _anything_?" 

The Captain's eyes closed briefly. "The Guardian is linked to the wormhole. And I think Eidolon planned to use it to...change the wormhole. Somehow. To stop the energy waves from destroying the planet..." 

"Destroying the planet?" The Doctor repeated. 

Janeway nodded then glanced up at Chakotay. "They're getting stronger, aren't they?" 

He nodded silently. 

"If we don't stop them, they'll destroy not only this ship, but probably the entire quadrant." 

"How do you know?" 

"I'm...not sure. I just do." 

Chakotay sighed. "All right," he said. "Assuming that what you say is true -- the Guardian was completely destroyed in that last cave-in. How do we stop the energy waves?" 

Janeway rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I don't know." She stared past him into the distance, a frown of concentration on her face. "I remember trying to reprogram the Guardian to do...something. To stop the energy waves somehow. And it would have worked if you hadn't tackled me..." There was a faint note of accusation in her voice. 

"'If I hadn't...?" His voice trailed off incredulously. "You pulled a phaser on me. What was I supposed to do -- let you shoot me?" 

"I wouldn't have shot you," she snapped at him. 

"Excuse me..." The Doctor's voice interrupted the escalating argument. "I'm sure this is all very fascinating but do you think we could concentrate on saving the ship? I only ask because in our current situation it just _might_ be of interest to the rest of the crew." 

He was right. Janeway looked away, taking a deep breath, shaking slightly. 

A pang went through Chakotay. He couldn't seem to cope with the situation, no matter how hard he tried. One moment he was holding onto her for dear life; the next he was quarrelling with her. And, no matter what she said, he just couldn't accept that he might have misjudged the Wraith. Perhaps she was right -- perhaps he _was_ being blinded by what had happened. Eidolon had stolen his body. And hurt her. Chakotay found that he could forgive the Wraith for the first much easier than he could the second. The Commander took a deep, shuddering breath, not sure how much more of this he could take. 

"Fine," he said at last to Janeway, "What do you suggest?" 

She answered immediately. "I need to go back down..." 

"No." 

"Absolutely not." Two voices spoke as one. The Doctor put one hand on her shoulder. "No, Captain. You're not going anywhere until I've found a way to decrease your isotronic neutrinos and stabilize your brain chemistry." 

She shot him a look, resisting the urge to try to pull away. "I feel fine, Doctor. Really." The note of command was back in her voice. "And I need to find the rest of the answers...before it's too late." 

The hologram ignored her. "If memory serves," he said, "you were relieved of command. And, even if you weren't, as Chief Medical Officer, I would order you to remain here. I don't know what's keeping you alive, but it could stop at any minute. And you won't be much use to us if you dropped dead in the middle of a crisis, will you?"   
  
Janeway scowled then turned to her First Officer. "Chakotay..." she began. 

He looked away. "He's right. We need you alive." 

"_None_ of us will be alive if I don't figure out what's going on!" 

He narrowed his eyes. She was wearing the same stubborn expression he had seen so many times before; she wasn't going to give up so easily this time. He frowned, trying to think of a way to keep her here that didn't involve tying her to the bed or rendering her unconscious. And then the answer came to him. "Fine," he said evenly. "If you can walk from one end of sickbay to the other, I'll beam you and an away team down to the cave. Otherwise..." His voice trailed off ominously. 

Her chin came up at the challenge. Without speaking, she shrugged off the Doctor's hand and climbed to her feet. All the blood abruptly left her face and she swayed slightly. Chakotay had to throttle the impulse to put a hand out to steady her. He was trying to prove a point after all. Besides, he didn't think she would appreciate it, given the annoyed glint in her eyes. 

Janeway took a cautious step forward...then another. In the end, she managed four strides altogether before her strength gave out. Chakotay was already there, catching her before she could fall and carrying her wordlessly back to the bed. He laid her on it gently and brushed a quick hand over her forehead. She opened her eyes. "Damn you," she whispered softly but whole-heartedly. 

He gave her a small smile, resisting the urge to bend down and kiss her. "You can swear at me all you like later," he promised. "Right now I'm needed on the Bridge." He looked up, meeting the Doctor's eyes across the bed. "Will she be all right?" Worry coloured his voice. 

"If I can stabilize her neutrino levels..." There was an element of doubt in his voice; Chakotay's face must have changed for the Doctor took another look at him then said reassuringly in his best bedside manner: "She'll be fine, Commander." 

Chakotay nodded, despite his uncertainty, and looked down at Janeway, who was staring at him balefully. "I'll see that you're kept informed," he told her. She didn't reply. He paused, started to say something else, then thought better of it and turned to go. 

"Chakotay." He halted. 

Janeway spoke softly. "I really _wouldn_'t have shot you, you know." 

He gave her a quick, relieved grin. "I know," he replied, turning away and limping toward the door. "At least, not twice in the same month, right?" He said over his shoulder. 

She stared after him in consternation. 

* * * 

Janeway lay on her side, trying to ignore the waves of nausea that were crashing over her at regular intervals. The formula the Doctor had injected her with had left her feeling more than a little queasy, but he assured her that it _was_ restoring her brain's chemical balance -- albeit slowly. He had practically been chortling with glee when he had finally found the mixture that counteracted... whatever it was that was happening to her. 

Unfortunately though, his cure required rest and time. Lots of it. He wouldn't even allow her to access the computer in sickbay, threatening to put her in restraints if necessary to keep her in bed. He didn't seem to notice that the enforced inactivity was slowly driving her insane. 

Two more series of waves had hit the ship in the last hour and a half. Fortunately B'Elanna and her team had restored the shields enough for Voyager to ride out the storm but, from what Janeway could gather from the infrequent communications she had with the Bridge, shields were down to less than twenty percent. And Engineering wasn't sure how much more they could do... 

Part of her itched to leap out of bed and sprint down to Engineering -- to rip the shields apart by hand and rebuild them herself if required, but she forced herself to remain still. Her crew knew what they were doing...and she had other things to consider. 

Such as -- while she seemed to have most of the pieces of the puzzle now, the picture was still incomplete. The wormhole, for example remained tantalizingly enigmatic. She knew that Eidolon had tried to destroy it, was filled with the same driving force to complete his task, but she didn't know why. She sighed with frustration. The wormhole was the key to unlocking this whole mystery...if she only knew how. 

The cave. That was the answer. When she had entered the cave, the memories locked inside her had surfaced --violently -- fading only when she had been knocked unconscious. But they were still inside her...somewhere. A faint ray of hope swept over her. Maybe she didn't need to return to the surface after all... 

Then she shuddered. The thought of consciously reaching for the visions that had been haunting her, of purposely _becoming_ Eidolon, even for a short time, filled her with a sense of dread. Despite what she knew about the Wraith, she did _not_ want to do this. All those years trapped alone in space with nothing but memories and grief for company, insanity clawing at his mind... No. She couldn't do this. 

But then again, what choice did she have? Her ship was in danger. Her crew needed her. Despite her misgivings, she had to try... 

Janeway took a deep breath, banishing the fear and pain, and focused her mind, allowing it to drift toward the part of her that was Eidolon. One last image -- Chakotay's -- flashed across her mind and then... 

...It was easier this time. Whatever had happened to her in the cave had weakened the barriers between the Wraith's memories and the pieces of her that were still Kathryn Janeway. Fog swirled around the edges of her vision... 

...And she was there. But it was...different. There was no flash of light this time, no moment of disorientation. Instead it was as if she had walked calmly out of her own life and into his, reality changing around her between one heartbeat and the next... 

The world changed as time swept abruptly backwards. Hundreds...thousands...of years passed by in the blink of an eye...and the distant past rose up before her. 

She was on a...well, ship wasn't the right term. A... conveyance, was the best her beleaguered mind could come up with on short notice. Shay'anari surrounded her. But they were not Wraiths. They were corporeal. She could see and touch them, could hear their voices as they spoke... 

They were...travelling. In the wormhole. Somehow, the Shay'anari were manipulating and controlling it, forcing it to take them where they wanted to go. In the middle of the...conveyance...a Guardian, smaller in scale than the one she had seen, pulsed and hummed, streams of light radiating from its core. Janeway gasped in wonder. These aliens had had the ability to call up and command a wormhole as easily as she could transport down to a planet. If she could only discover how they did it, how to duplicate it...Voyager could return to the Alpha Quadrant. They could go home... 

The narrative continuing to unfold around her despite her mounting excitement, then recognition jolted suddenly through her. The Shay'anari were going home too, she realized with a start -- returning to Anari after a long voyage. But their Anari was not the small brownish-grey planet she had seen. Home was somewhere...something... else. Something indefinable. She took a step forward, trying to see more clearly... 

...And there was an accident. Something went wrong. The hum of the Guardian changed; the wormhole twisting around them like a cobra, trying to break free from their control. There were voices, hurried movements, fear... 

...And they were trapped on the small planet with two moons. Trapped in this reality where they were only wraiths, ghosts who could touch nothing, change nothing... Anguish, loss, and a surge of homesickness so strong she thought she would die from it, swept over her... 

Time passed. The Shay'anari discovered how to enter the bodies of the primitive humanoids on this planet they had named Anari after their lost homeland; discovered how to manipulate them as they had manipulated the wormhole; how to advance their technology; to inject the beings with a sense of purpose and drive...to build another Guardian to replace the one that had been damaged... 

Years, centuries passed. Slowly, the Guardian took shape. And one Wraith, as they called themselves now, realized what would happen when it was used; calculated how the backlash of energy from the Guardian as it seized the now dormant wormhole and bent it to their will, would sweep across the planet, destroying the hosts -- and perhaps all corporeal life... One Wraith tried to prevent it... 

...And failed. Eidolon was tried and convicted, not for slaying a host, although that was the "official" reason, but for trying to stop them. They didn't kill him. Perhaps they couldn't. In the end, they sentenced him to something much worse -- they left him behind, exiled in space to years of unending solitude and misery -- while they triggered the newly-built Guardian and went home... 

...And destroyed the planet. No life remained, save a few stunted plants and animals. The green world of Anari became a dry, arid wasteland -- and every man, woman, and child died. 

Eidolon hadn't known this, of course, until he had seized control of a passing lifeform and returned to the planet, seeking his people. And, even though the countless years of emptiness and grief had destroyed his sanity and filled him with bitterness, he had still tried to complete his self-appointed task -- to destroy the wormhole and the Guardian so it could never be used again... 

And failed. Again. Despair overwhelmed her... 

...and she was in sickbay once more. It was over. She was trembling, Janeway realized distantly, her limbs shaking so much she probably would have fallen over if she weren't already laying down. She took a deep steadying breath, fighting the twin sensations of anguish and loss that were sweeping over her, and trying to ignore the weakness of her limbs. 

The Wraiths had sacrificed an entire race. Millions, perhaps billions, had died. Eidolon's memories poured over her. The field of flowers, the crowded shimmering city, Yvara...all gone. Completely destroyed. A slow anger, more potent than anything she had ever experienced before, began to burn within her. 

Janeway opened her eyes and the memories vanished like mist in the sunlight. The anger, however, did not. She frowned. "I will destroy the Guardian and the wormhole, no matter what it takes," she swore silently to herself, "I'll finish what Eidolon started..." 

And, with a start, she realized she knew how to do both. 

* * * 

Chakotay was exhausted. The stresses of the last few days had taken their toll on him and he had to concentrate to keep his attention on the task at hand. That, plus his injury which had gone beyond pain and was fast approaching torment, coupled with his almost constant underlying anxiety about the Captain...and his reserves were almost gone. 

The rest of the crew wasn't in much better shape. For the last two hours, they had worked like demons, fighting the now regular energy waves that battered their ship. As soon as they managed to repair one system, another series of waves would crash over the starship, destroying the repairs and causing even more damage. The ship couldn't take much more. Actually, Chakotay was mildly astonished that the remaining shields hadn't buckled long ago. It seemed Voyager was as stubborn as her crew. 

The Commander crawled out from under the console and brushed the back of his hand over his forehead, which was damp with sweat. Environmental controls had gone down an hour ago and the temperature on the Bridge had risen steadily, to the point where they could hardly breathe, let alone work. Paradoxically, Engineering was icy cold, causing even more problems for the beleaguered crew down there. 

He took a quick glance around the Bridge. People were working frantically, replacing burnt out parts and trying to repair multiple systems at once. Stray wreaths of smoke curled around them as the emergency lighting flickered unsteadily. Debris littered the Bridge. It was like a scene out a nightmare. Or someone's version of Hell. 

"What the...?" Paris' voice held a note of surprise and everyone looked up in alarm. Chakotay took a hasty step forward, wincing at the pain the movement caused. 

"What?" 

Paris was on his knees before the navigation console, holding several wires together with his right hand, a nasty burn across the back of his left. But it wasn't the injury he was staring at -- it was the red warning light on the right side of the panel, blinking quietly. 

"The shuttle bay doors just opened. I think." He added, reaching across to bang one fist against the panel. The light remained on. Chakotay frowned, moving toward him, more carefully this time. 

"It's got to be a faulty signal. Why would the..." 

Paris interrupted him. "The Ticonderoga! Someone's piloting it out of the shuttle bay..." 

The Bridge stilled as everyone turned to the static-filled viewscreen and watched as the shuttle swung around Voyager's bow then set a course for the wormhole. 

"What the hell...? Who...?" Chakotay stopped, stiffening as realization flooded through him. Kathryn. It had to be. What the hell did she think she was doing? 

"Hail the shuttle." His words were clipped and terse. Beside him, Paris hastened to comply. 

"Voyager to Ticonderoga." There was a long silence. 

'Answer, damn it,' Chakotay thought savagely, dismay going through him. An eternity passed. 

Finally, a voice replied. It was distorted and filled with static as the ship's communications systems struggled to filter out the interference, but it was recognizable just the same. Captain Janeway. Multiple pairs of eyes turned and met each other silently. 

"This is the Ticonderoga." 

Relief swept over Chakotay but he managed to keep his tone even. "Captain...what are you doing?" 

"I'm going to destroy the wormhole." 

He froze. The moment stretched into infinity. Finally he repeated: "Destroy the wormhole. Why?" 

"Because it's the only way to stop the energy waves. And now that the Guardian's destroyed, this is the only way to do it." 

"What is?" 'Please -- don't let her do what I think she's going to do,' he prayed silently. His stomach muscles tightened. 

"I..." There was a pause. "This wormhole isn't like anything we've seen before. But it _will_ collapse...if there's a big enough explosion." 

A wave of unreality assailed Chakotay. Around him, the Bridge crew stood frozen in place, tension radiating from them. He swallowed once, twice, then said: "You're going to fly into it and detonate your engines." It wasn't a question. 

A pause. Then: "Yes." 

TO BE CONTINUED 


	8. Chapter Eight

Full Circle 8 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 8/9 

**FULL CIRCLE VIII**

  


"Kathryn. Don't!" 

Janeway winced at the note of ragged fear in Chakotay's voice and a shaft of pain went through her. She didn't want to do this. Didn't want to have this conversation. It would have been easier not to reply to Voyager's hail. She almost hadn't. But then something inside her had reached out and flicked on the communicator, and now it was too late. She sighed and answered him. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. But it's the only way." 

"There are always alternatives." 

She shook her head, even though no one could see it. "Not this time." 

It was true. She had known she was out of options the moment she awoke from the last vision in sickbay; knew that, with the Guardian's destruction, this was the only way. But it didn't mean she had to like it... 

Part of her was still surprised that she had even gotten this far. She had managed to slip out of sickbay when the Doctor wasn't watching, but it had taken all of her strength and stamina to make it to the shuttle bay unobserved. Even now she was holding onto consciousness by a tenuous thread, waves of pain and dizziness coursing over her at regular intervals. 

Of course, she only had to put up with them for the next...four minutes and twenty seconds... 

"Kathryn...talk to me. Tell me why you're doing this." Chakotay's voice came over the communicator again, sounding slightly blurred from the static. She bit her lip, concentrating as she threaded the shuttle through the increasing turbulence. 

"Tell me _why_ you have to destroy the wormhole." Chakotay insisted desperately. 

She sighed, unable to ignore the entreaty beneath his words...and responded. "The Guardian has been containing the energy waves within the wormhole for centuries," she said, her hands moving carefully over the instrument panel. "But it was critically damaged during the first cave-in three weeks ago. There was enough residual power left in the system to keep the wormhole safe for a while, but it's gone now. And the energy waves are escaping into space." 

"How do you know?" 

"Eidolon's memories. I...know what really happened." 

"Tell me." 

He was trying to delay her, she realized, to keep her talking until they could come up with a way to stop her... But it didn't matter. They wouldn't succeed. And, Janeway discovered, she wanted to cling to this last vestige of human contact, for just a little longer... 

So she told him. Hastily, concisely -- everything she had seen, everything she had learned. When she finished, a brief silence fell. Then: 

"All right," Chakotay's voice was as reasonable as he could make it, "I agree that we need to collapse the wormhole, but _you_ don't have to do this. Come back to the ship and we'll explore our options..." 

"No. We're out of time. The next wave could destroy Voyager. I won't let that happen." 

"The photon torpedoes..." 

"Weapons systems are still down, remember? And anyway, I don't think they would be powerful enough. Only a warp core breach..." 

"Damn it, Kathryn, don't do this! Give us a chance to find another way!" 

Weariness was clawing at her and her eyes flickered shut briefly. "I don't have a choice," she whispered as she pointed the nose of the shuttle toward the centre of the wormhole. Ten more seconds... "I'm sorry." 

The wormhole opened to meet her, a maelstrom of energy and light. She squinted a little, angling the shuttle's shields with one hand... 

"Kathryn!" Raw agony in his voice. 

"I love you," she only had time to say before the wormhole engulfed her. 

* * * 

Chakotay stood frozen for less than a heartbeat as the shuttle vanished...and then he was shouting into the communicators. "B'Elanna -- I don't care what it takes -- I need engines _now_!" 

In Engineering, Torres launched into a stream of blistering Klingon curses as she and her crew struggled to comply. A frantic few seconds went by...then she hit her combadge. "We've got thrusters." 

"Not good enough. I need Impulse. Do it now, damn it!" 

She swore at him again then plunged back into her engines. Another pause, and... "Fine. You've got twenty seconds worth. But that's it!" 

On the Bridge, Chakotay turned to Paris. "Take us in..." 

"Course already plotted." Paris' hands fairly danced over the controls as he turned the ship without benefit of navigation systems or computers...and sent it plunging toward the wormhole. 

It was like flying an elephant, Paris decided as he struggled to maintain an even course. He was trying to navigate by line of sight alone, relying only on the blurred viewscreen before him as sweat trickling from his brow. Behind him, Kim began to read out verbal course changes while Chakotay and Tuvok tried to help compensate for the increased turbulence... 

...And then they were in. Light flared around them and the ship shuddered. If the energy pulses had been powerful before, they were overwhelming now. Voyager rolled savagely, the ominous sounds of grinding metal rising to an unbearable level as the engines died with a last tortured scream. 

Chakotay grabbed hold of a chair close by where he had fallen, pulling himself to his knees as the ship continued to shake around him. "Where's the shuttle?" He shouted over the rising din. 

Ensign Kim was clinging doggedly to his station. "I don't know!" Impatiently he kicked the console and the sensor readings stabilized for just an instant. "It's ahead of us. And it's still intact!" 

"Get a tractor beam on it." 

Paris relinquished the now useless navigation panel and, reached across, trying the controls. "It's not working." 

"Make it work." 

Paris gave the Commander a wordless look then dove under the console. 

"Chakotay to Engineering." 

"What?" Torres snapped. 

"We need transporters. Now." 

She let out another string of Klingon curses then started on Talaxian, Bajoran, and Human oaths as she and the others fought to get the damaged systems back online. 

She was calling Chakotay a flea-ridden son of a Denebian slime-snake when one of her Engineers came up with the solution...short term though it was. Working frantically, they rerouted components and crossed systems that were never meant to be crossed, and in the end, they had transporters...sort of. 

"Torres to Bridge." 

"Bridge here." 

"Try it." 

Chakotay's hands were already flying across the Bridge's transporters. He got a lock on the Captain...he hoped... and, with an inward prayer, engaged the device. 

The emergency lighting dimmed as the whine of the transporters mingled with the howl of the ship. An electronic fog began to form... 

...and outside, the Ticonderoga detonated. Radiation and plasma rained over Voyager as a chain of smaller explosions swept through the Bridge. Chakotay staggered and gritted his teeth, ignoring the destruction around him. The glow of the transporters thinned and almost vanished...and then a shape appeared. It continued to solidify...and then the transporters exploded. 

Chakotay was thrown backward, colliding with the command chairs behind him. His knee, skull, and ribs screamed a warning at him but he ignored them, pulling himself back up painfully. His gaze went automatically to the spot where... 

Janeway. She was stretched full length on the floor nearby. Unconscious...or dead. But here. They had done it. 

Hastily Chakotay tore his gaze away and glanced around the Bridge. Voyager was falling apart around him. The scent of burning filled the air and several bodies lay crumpled close by -- whose, he couldn't tell. 

"Tom -- Get us out of here!" The shout held more than a little urgency. 

The Lieutenant was clawing his way up from the floor, clutching his right arm with his left. He staggered back to his station...and stopped, one look enough to tell him that Chakotay was asking the impossible. The helm was a scorched mass of components and loose wires. They weren't going anywhere. 

Paris' eyes met Chakotay's then the Commander looked away. The viewscreen, oddly enough, was still functioning. Outside, the wormhole was unchanged, pulses of light and colour reflecting off the hull. Janeway's plan had failed. The Ticonderoga's destruction hadn't been enough... 

Chakotay stiffened as memory came flooding abruptly back. Eidolon, seizing his body, brutally imprisoning him in some dark corner of his own mind. Eidolon, kidnapping the Captain, dragging them both on his mindless quest to find and awake the Guardian... And Janeway standing in the cave, reprogramming the alien computer. For the first time since the Wraith had stolen his body, Chakotay allowed himself to remember...truly remember...what had happened. And the answer came flowing fast on the memory's heels. 

"Chakotay to Engineering." 

Torres' voice when she responded was full of pain. He forced himself to ignore that too. "B'Elanna -- Can you reconfigure the engines to emit the same type of energy beam as the Guardian?" 

"We don't _have_ any Engines," she growled. 

"Can you?" His voice was calmer now. Live or die...it would all be decided in the next few seconds. 

She sighed. "I'll get back to you..." The link went dead. 

Seconds ticked by. Time slowed down to a crawl, until Chakotay thought he would surely go mad. Part of him wanted to go to Kathryn's side -- she still wasn't moving; he couldn't even tell if she was breathing -- but there was no time. They had only seconds... 

...And, just when he was certain that Voyager would tear herself apart, a new note replaced the rending sound going through the ship...and a beam of pure energy shot out from the sensor array. 

Voyager convulsed... 

...and the wormhole collapsed. 

* * * 

The first thing Chakotay was aware of was warm water, running down his face. He reached up a hand, only half-conscious; it came away sticky. Blood. 

Then remembrance blazed through him and he was fully awake. He opened his eyes, blinking as the blood trickled into them...and looked on Hell. The Bridge was a shambles. There was nothing that wasn't broken, burned, or splintered. Smoke continued to weave through the air and the lighting had faded almost completely. Bodies littered the deck. 

Chakotay reached out a hand to the nearby chair and numbly pulled himself upright. For a moment his vision greyed and blurred, and the ship spun crazily. Then it passed and he could see again. 

No more than seconds could have elapsed. Others around the Bridge were also beginning to stir, while outside... 

Outside, the writhing lights of the wormhole no longer danced outside the ship. Instead, cold, clear stars glittered against a dark backdrop. They were back in normal space. They had done it. 

It took several seconds for Chakotay to realize that more than stars were streaming by. In the viewscreen, the first moon of Anari shot by them, then the second. And ahead, the planet itself was growing larger with every passing moment. 

Adrenaline flooded through him, going a long way toward eliminating the lingering disorientation and weakness. They were out of control and, unless they did something -- soon -- on the verge of crashing. Once more, the ship began to shudder violently as it met the atmosphere of Anari. 

Chakotay took two weaving strides forward, unceremoniously picked up a dazed Tom Paris with one hand, and deposited him in the pilot's chair. "Can you fly?" he shouted over the rising tumult. 

Paris blinked twice then turned to the controls. "Uh. Sure." He reached out with his right arm, winced, then switched to his left. "Sure," he said, his voice a little stronger now. 

Around them, the rest of the crew, or at least those still conscious, were realizing the danger and moving to what remained of their stations, doing what they could to stabilize the ship. It wasn't much. 

Chakotay took a quick glance at Paris as the brown planet continued to grow larger. The Lieutenant was trying desperately to fly a dead ship with no engines, no navigation systems, no computers...and only one functioning arm. Chakotay grimaced. Well, he couldn't do much about the rest, but he could help him with that. Staggering slightly, he took the adjoining seat, reaching for the instruments Paris couldn't. Together they fought to gain control of the ship. 

The next few minutes would be forever engraved in Chakotay's memory. The ship plummeted toward the planet as if drawn by a magnet and the atmosphere buffeted them, wreaking further havoc on the already damaged systems. They compensated with thrusters...and the hull's temperature began to rise. And then someone in Engineering must have achieved a miracle for the ship's engines began to respond sluggishly, enough for Paris and Chakotay to alter their trajectory slightly...Enough so that, instead of plowing helplessly into the planet's surface, Voyager touched down in at least the semblance of a normal landing. Heavily, with far too much force and velocity, the ship came to land like an immense, wounded bird and, with a final groan and a creak of anguished metal, she settled onto the rust-coloured ground. 

It was probably the worst landing in the history of Starfleet, Chakotay decided as he slowly uncurled his fingers from the edge of the console. Still, it was a landing. They were alive. 

And then the one thought that had been tearing at him suddenly became overwhelming. Chakotay stood carefully, not heeding the rubble around him and moved across the crazily tilting Bridge to where Janeway lay motionless next to the turbolift doors. Slowly he bent down, convinced that the top of his skull was going to fall off any minute, and took her hand. His fingers curled unsteadily around her wrist, searching for a pulse with both hands. A lifetime passed. And then he felt it... slow but steady. She was alive. 

Chakotay bowed his head for a moment, too tired to feel much of anything. let alone relief. Then, after a lifetime or two, he re-opened his eyes. Janeway was staring back up at him. She blinked hazily a couple of times and then her gaze sharpened. 

"Chakotay..." she whispered weakly, her fingers tightening around his. A pause, then: "What have you done to my ship?" 

Absurdly, he had to fight down the urge to laugh. His lips curled into a wide smile and, as delayed reaction swept over him, he pulled her up into a close embrace. She stiffened briefly, whether from pain or...something else...and then her arms came up, tightening around his neck. For just a moment, the two most Senior officers on Voyager held each other as the rest of the crew began to stir around them. 

TO BE CONCLUDED 


	9. Chapter Nine

Full Circle 9 **THE WRAITHS TRILOGY III:**   
**FULL CIRCLE**   
by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)   
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online   
J/C, PG-13, 9/9 

**FULL CIRCLE IX**

  


24 HOURS LATER: 

Voyager sat unmoving in the still morning air, sunlight glinting on her battered hull. Janeway watched from the nearby hillside as her crew moved over and around the ship. Remembering. 

No one had died in the crash. Landing. Whatever it was -- although there had been numerous injuries and contusions, not least of which was Tom Paris' broken arm. Of course, as the unofficial hero of the day, he was having too much fun pretending to be modest to pay any attention to his injury -- although she was sure he would exploit the break later to enhance his heroic status. 

A smile crossed Janeway's face -- Torres' meeting with the Pilot in sickbay had been...emotional...to say the least. In front of at least a dozen eyewitnesses, including Janeway herself, B'Elanna (who had sustained a concussion and two cracked ribs during the crash) had marched into sickbay, seized the startled Paris by the shirt, kissed him briefly and violently, then swore at him and hit him on the jaw. Hard. Needless to say, she had gotten his attention. And everyone else's. 

Janeway's smile widened...then faded abruptly as her gaze returned to her crippled ship. She sighed, shifting her weight on the stony ground. 

Voyager would fly again, the Engineering team had reassured her, but it would take several months of intensive repairs to get her spaceworthy again. For the moment, they were trapped on Anari, just as the Wraiths had been. 

Janeway bit her lip. So much had happened, and she had had so little time absorb all of it. At first, when she had awakened on the Bridge, there had been so much to do --assess the damage, get the Doctor's program back on line, care for the wounded...but Janeway had found herself being unceremoniously bustled off to sickbay along with the injured. She had protested...and her First Officer had curtly told her she was still relieved of command and had threatened to do something dire if she didn't listen to him for once. 

She had listened...but only because she had still been weak as water. 

The Doctor's cure had worked and, after several hours, he had pronounced her fit to leave sickbay...on the condition that she do nothing for the next forty-eight hours. So here she sat, _watching_ her crew begin to tackle the formidable job of repairing the ship. She sighed again, her thoughts returning to the events of the past few days... 

Eidolon's memories were fading rapidly. She no longer remembered what if felt like to be shot in the back, no longer experienced the lightning flashes of understanding she had weathered when there had been two sets of memories in her mind. It was as if, now that she had finished his task for him, the Wraith was slowly fading away, erasing even the memory of what had happened. 

Janeway tossed a pebble down the hillside, frowning. She still didn't know what to think of Eidolon. He had done... horrible things. But he had also stood up to his people for what he believed in. Perhaps he had been right, three weeks ago -- perhaps they did have something in common after all... 

The Shay'anari, on the other hand, had destroyed an entire world, sacrificed millions, just to go home. Janeway closed her eyes, remembering her own decision to destroy the Array...and the faint sense of guilt that had lingered within her for three years, vanished without a trace. The crew of Voyager were nothing like the Shay'anari. They were _better_. 

With an effort she put the Wraiths out of her mind and opened her eyes to stare blankly at the ship. And her thoughts strayed unbidden to... 

Chakotay. 

She had told him she loved him. In front of everyone. She couldn't deny it, couldn't pretend she had never said it... She couldn't pretend, even to herself, that she hadn't meant it... 

She did love him. She didn't know when it had happened, couldn't identify the exact moment, the precise day when she had fallen in love with her First Officer. It could have been the moment he first ran his hands over her hair on New Earth...or perhaps the moment when a surge of jealously had swept over her as she suspected that he and Riley had... Hastily she banished that thought. 

Her First Officer. A shiver ran up her spine. They certainly didn't cover this sort of thing at Starfleet Academy. There was no rule against it...precisely...but Captain's _didn't_ fall in love with crewmembers, especially their First Officers... They just didn't. 

On the other hand -- they were at least 67 years away from the closest Starbase. Who was going to mind? Certainly not Mark -- she was certain he would have moved on when he heard she was missing, presumed dead. She didn't expect him to wait more than half a century for her. And -- she wasn't sure she even wanted him to. Wasn't sure she wanted anything except... 

...Chakotay. Warmth ran through her. He was...everything she could ever want. The best First Officer, the best friend she had ever had -- with so many good qualities she couldn't even begin to name them. Plus the man positively oozed sex appeal. Memories of the kiss they had shared on the holodeck -- was it only days ago? -- seared through her mind. 

It was at that moment, when her rampant imagination was replaying the kiss, lingering slowly over every sensuous detail...that a step sounded behind her. Janeway hastily twisted around, all but falling over sideways as her legs refused to unfold themselves... and Chakotay reached out a hand to steady her. 

She found herself gazing numbly into a pair of dark brown eyes, his hand on her shoulder and an expression of concern on his face. And suddenly it was taking every last bit of willpower not to fling herself at him... 

"Are you all right?" 

"What?" It came out as a squeak. 

His frown deepened. "Are you all right?" he repeated worriedly. 

"Oh. Sure. Yes. Fine. How are you?" Briefly her eyes closed. Damn. From sane adult to gibbering idiot in less than a second... She opened her eyes and started again. "Yes," she said, more steadily. "I'm fine. What are you doing here?" 

Chakotay shifted uncomfortably. "I...was worried about you. The Doctor told me where you were. May I?" He waved an arm at the ground beside her. She nodded dumbly and he sat, casually pulling his hand away from her shoulder as he did. Then he turned away to stare down at the ship, rubbing his knee absently. Janeway followed his gaze and an awkward silence descended. 

"We have to talk." He said it with the air of a man attending his own funeral. 

Janeway nodded. "Yes." More silence. She cast him a quick furtive look. For a man who obviously had things on his mind, he was being very quiet. Her mind, unbidden, returned to the kiss. 

When Chakotay did break the silence, she had just reached the point where his hands had been moving slowly across her body and his... 

"Kathryn..." 

She jumped violently. "Huh?" Another squeak. He cast her a questioning glance then continued. 

"If the Guardian triggered the initial energy wave that destroyed the planet, why did it spent the next thousand years containing the subsequent waves?" 

_This_ was what he wanted to talk about? The vision of the kiss vanished in a puff of logic and she frantically tried to refocus her mind. 

"I'm not sure," she managed to say. "Self-preservation? Guilt? Does it matter?" 

"No. I suppose not." The conversation staggered to another halt. 

Finally, Janeway decided she could take no more of this. Taking a deep breath she turned to face him and said: "Chakotay -- why did you _really_ come up here?" 

He stiffened as if she had struck him, still not meeting her gaze. "I wanted to know if..." 

She interrupted him abruptly, not giving herself a chance to think about what she was going to say. "You wanted to know if what I said over the comlink was true. You wanted to know if I loved you." Her voice shook but she sailed gallantly on. "Well...it was. And I do." 

She had never seen anyone look quite so stunned. If she had suddenly stripped naked and done a belly dance, he might have been more surprised...but she doubted it. A shell-shocked expression seemed to have taken up permanent residence on his face. 

He also seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. For a long moment she watched him slowly turn purple. She was just beginning to wonder if she would have to perform mouth to mouth on him...which was leading her mind off on another delightful tangent, when he suddenly exhaled, choked, and coughed. Janeway waited patiently. 

Finally, when he could breathe again he looked up. A nervous tremor went through her. 

"Um..." he finally said, "actually I was going to ask how you were feeling. If the Doctor's cure...had worked." 

"Oh." Janeway froze then looked away. "I...see. I..." She floundered helplessly... For an instant he didn't move, then he smiled and reached out a hand to brush her cheek. 

"But...since you brought the subject up..." 

"I...um..." 

"Shh," he said softly, then pulled her firmly into his embrace, whispering her name. His arms went around her and his lips sought and met hers. 

The kiss started lightly, as if he were afraid she would break. And then her fingers moved up to run through his hair, and his grip tightened, reaction going through him. He could have lost her. So many times during the past three weeks she could have died, in a hundred different ways. But she hadn't. They hadn't. She was here. And she loved him. He was trembling, he noticed distantly. They both were. 

Chakotay pulled away slightly and she met his gaze then hesitatingly moved one hand to lightly trace the outline of his tattoo. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that," she said softly. 

A faint smile lit his face. "Probably as long as I've wanted to do this..." He cupped her face with both hands and kissed her again, more forcefully this time...and Janeway went up in flames. 

Somehow, over the space of the next few moments, Janeway found herself being pressed back onto the rocky ground, his body covering hers and his tongue gently pressing her lips open. She didn't resist. Instead, she arched her back, drawing his body closer. Her eyes flickered shut as the sensations within her continued to build. 

She had wanted -- no, _needed_ -- this for so long. Needed him. Chakotay. She ran her hands down his back, savouring the feel of the muscles, the tension knotting his shoulders. And then Chakotay's tongue ran briefly along her lips before plummeting deeply into her mouth. His left hand roamed down her side to her hip then back up to her breast. The other held her securely in place as if afraid she was going to try to escape...which she wasn't... 

Janeway's hands wandered over his body, but she was growing more than a little annoyed with the material in her way. The quivering need running through her was turning into a raging inferno, leaving her weak and shaking. She needed him naked. NOW. With fingers that trembled, she reached for the front of his shirt, trying to pull it free. 

Chakotay quivered at her touch then responded by moving even closer, if that were possible. He pulled his mouth away long enough to trail fire down her throat, before returning his mouth to hers, murmuring her name brokenly. 

A tremor went through Janeway at the raw urgent need in his voice. Part of her wondered dimly at the awkwardness of their position -- most of his weight was on his elbows and knees on the rocky ground...there were stones and pebbles beneath them both... But Chakotay didn't seem to mind...and as he touched the sensitive places just below her ribs, neither did she... 

Janeway moaned as he tugged her own shirt loose, running one hand up under it to caress the bare skin. "Chakotay," she whispered...and then a distant noise penetrated the fog in her mind. She frowned, trying to concentrate -- a task made doubly difficult by the fact that Chakotay's lips had moved to her left ear while his hand was working miracles beneath her uniform -- and opened her eyes... 

"Not again!" was the first thought that went through her mind. The second was "No. Not now. Please, not now!" 

Standing nearby, Paris, Kes, and Neelix were blocking out the sunlight, identical expressions on their faces as they gazed down at their commanding officers. Janeway gasped and stiffened. Chakotay looked up... 

"I don't believe it." He said it out loud, closing his eyes for just a moment. 

Janeway didn't either. Only days ago, Harry, B'Elanna, and Tom had walked in on them in the holodeck, finding them in precisely the same position. And now... 

Damn, damn, and damn! Janeway started to scramble out from under her First Officer, her dazed mind already trying to come up with an explanation -- beyond the obvious -- but Chakotay caught her wrist, halting her escape. Instead, he slowly raised himself off her and climbed to his feet, reaching a hand down to help her up. She tugged down her shirt then climbed to her feet, swaying slightly against his chest as she did. His arm went around her to steady her...and didn't let go. Janeway found herself imprisoned in his embrace, unable to step away... And then he turned back to the others, still holding her tightly, a determined expression on his face. 

"Yes?" He said evenly, as if he hadn't just been found on top of his Captain. Still, there was a note of menace in his voice, as if he were daring any of them to say anything. Anything at all. 

Nobody did. A long silence descended. Paris and Neelix were both grinning idiotically, while Kes' smile was just as pleased...but less surprised. At last the Ocampan woman spoke. "Lieutenant Tuvok asked us to come and find you both. He wanted to discuss setting up camp while we repair the ship." 

Janeway's chin came up slightly as Chakotay's arm tightened around her. "We'll be there in a minute," she managed to croak, not quite meeting their eyes. Chakotay said nothing, dismissal nevertheless radiating from him. 

The three crewmembers hesitated for a moment, Paris looking very much as if he wanted to say something, then Kes cast the other two a pointed glance and they nodded, turning to go. As they walked away, Paris, unable to resist the impulse, turned and said over his shoulder: "No need to hurry, Captain. We'll just tell Tuvok you've got your hands full..." And then he winked at them. All three vanished around the rocky path. 

Janeway's jaw had dropped open, a flicker of some emotion...she wasn't sure which one...going through her. Beside her, Chakotay twitched. She turned to look up at him, squinting in the bright sunlight...and her suspicions were confirmed. He was nobly trying to suppress his mirth. 

"Hands full..." He repeated, a laugh escaping him. 

Janeway stared at him balefully. "It's not funny," she said. "You do realize the entire ship will know within the hour. Even if Tom doesn't say anything, Neelix certainly will..." 

He sobered quickly. "Did you want to keep it a secret?" There was an uncertain note in his voice now. His arm was still around her, she noted dimly. 

"Well...no. But...I just..." She swallowed. "I don't know. I don't know how to deal with this. Starfleet protocol doesn't exactly cover situations like this..." 

His eyes met hers. "Kathryn -- I love you. I'll handle this any way you want to. But there's one thing I won't do." 

"What's that?" It came out as a whisper. 

"I won't give you up. I don't care if we try to keep it hidden or shout it over the ship's comlink...but I won't give this up." And he bent his head and kissed her again. 

The strength of the response that surged through her was overwhelming, but somehow Janeway found the willpower to end the kiss. Closing her eyes, she curled her fingers in his and leaned into his shoulder. "Well, we can't broadcast it over the comlink..." She hesitated and he stiffened "...because the communication systems are down, remember?" Janeway smiled as his brief tension faded. 

"On the other hand," she continued, opening her eyes to glance up at him, noting the faint expression of relief that crossed his face. "I'd say it's too late to try to hide _anything_. So I suppose the only question is..." Her voice trailed off. 

"What?" Chakotay couldn't quite hide the alarm in his voice. 

"...is if you're going to escort me to my cabin willingly or if I'm going to have to make it an order." Her smile widened. 

He smiled back, that rare grin that always seemed to make her toes curl...and her breath caught in her throat. She loved this man. Suddenly she felt like bursting into song. 

"Can't," Chakotay said succinctly, pulling her closer. "I relieved you of command, remember? I'm still in charge." 

She mock-frowned. "Yes...that's something else I want to discuss..." 

He lifted one hand to run it over her hair. "So why don't we discuss it in your cabin...Kathryn?" He bent his head... and Janeway promptly forgot whatever she had been about to say while around them, only the cry of a distant bird broke the silence. 

THE END OF "FULL CIRCLE"   
AND THE END OF "THE WRAITHS TRILOGY" 


End file.
